Obaa Yaa
He is seeing another Woman
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 25 years old and married to a 35-year old man. We had a baby boy after three years of marriage. When the baby was two-year old, my husband started cheating on me. I am financially supportive in the family and earn more than him.
Recently he asked me to support him to further his education. After a year in school, he started giving me attitude but I kept it cool. He denied me sex and started coming home late.
I reported his conduct to his parents who later advised him, but he did not listen. I later had a tip off that my husband was flirting with another woman in his class.
He left home for about a year without telling me his whereabout. My problem is the same man who stayed for a year is now pleading that I take him back.
Meanwhile, I have a man who has proposed to marry me. What should I do?
Erica, Kyebi
Dear Erica,
You must be commended for your willingness to support your husband in diverse ways, including helping him to further his education.
It is sad to note that despite your efforts to make the marriage work, he suddenly put up an appalling attitude which is not healthy for a successful marriage.
You did well by reporting him to his parents although he was adamant.
Having multiple partners and going to the extent of denying you sex for a long period of time means he does not respect you. It is obvious he is no longer interested in the marriage.
His plea for acceptance is a camouflage.
Since someone has shown interest in you, why not accept to marry him.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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