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HAD I KNOWN…

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At the age of 17, Ama Serwaa had already had three abortions to the surprise of her siblings and class mates who were in the same school within the vicinity.

Ama, as she was affectionately called, was not bothered by this fact even though for many of her friends in the school it was not a palatable story to write home about. To the surprise of everyone, Ama kept boasting to some of her female colleagues who she described as “too green” when it comes to matured life in the world of sexy people of today.

Indeed, Ama’s behaviour was difficult to explain by anyone who was closely associated with her family, seeing that members of her family came from a disciplined christian background. One of her cousins, Yaa Mireku, born two years earlier than her, had lived with an uncle in a nearby town for about two years before coming back to join Ama Serwaa’s family and lived with them.

No-nonsense person

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Ama Serwaa’s uncle was one Kwaku Gyasi, a no-nonsense person, who did not compromise on issues whenever it came to disciplining children. His total life as an adult had been characterised by honesty and rigid discipline. It, therefore, came as no surprise when Yaa Mireku ended up as a disciplined young lady in her community.

Yaa Mireku was the type of person who was very friendly to everyone in the community including all the young men but was very careful not to engage in any form of amorous relationship with them. Her father, the late Opanin Kuntor, had been very strict on her and warned her several times to keep away from men who might entice her with all kinds of gifts to misbehave in society.

Christian life

Opanin Kuntor was the type of person who did not joke with his christian life. Though very strict, he was very jovial with children and sometimes behaved as if Yaa Mireku was his age mate. Many people admired Opanin Kuntor for this. As a person, his policy was “Do not spare the rod to spoil the child, but show respect to him as if he is your co-equal”. This made him different from other adults who were over-strict but sometimes unreasonable with showing care of tenderness to children under their control.

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Yaa Mireku proved to be a very good girl and was the talk of the town. It, therefore, came as no surprise when at the age of 24 her hand was asked in marriage to the admiration of all. The marriage ceremony took a traditional form and received blessings from a pastor of the Presbyterian Church attended by herself and her grandmother.

Black spot in the family

In contrast to Yaa Mireku who happened to be a very good girl, Ama Serwaa proved to be a black spot in the family and continued as usual with different men who came her way. For her, the most important thing in life was acquisition of assets and properties which, she believed, could make her happy to live a good life.

Ama’s behaviour, as unpleasant as it was to people, proved detestable to well-trained female colleagues in the town. What was more surprising was her readiness to fight any of her colleagues who offered to give her good advice on the need to change for the better, “Mind your own business; we are different and, therefore, have different interests and tastes,” Ama would warn them.

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With time, she became known as “we have different tastes.” By this, she meant that, one man’s meat was another man’s poison. If this is the case, she thought, then there was no need to scold her.

Pleasant demeanour

Ama Serwaa’s grandfather was a pastor in the Pentecost Church whose pleasant demeanour appealed to anyone he came in contact with. The children who came to stay with him grew to be good ambassadors and of good character. Having stayed with this uncle for about half a year, Ama Serwaa could not cope with the discipline required of her and, therefore, falsified stories about this noble man who she even described one time as a rapist. Many people did not believe her but others felt that some categories of men, no matter their seemingly piety, could attempt such rape cases on young and beautiful women who could easily be described as “juicy sweet sixteen”.

One day, Ama Serwaa brought an unknown young man to her parents in the community and introduced him as someone she would want to marry. Her parents could not believe their eyes and advised her to wait for some time before getting into marriage, but more as they advised, little was Ama prepared to listen.

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AIDS and COVID-19

At a point in time, Ama left her neighbourhood to live with this strange man in a nearby town. Six months after taking this decision, Ama Serwaa became pregnant and wanted to abort it again but, tried as she did, she could not abort it this time. Unknown to her, Ama Serwaa had started developing some complications in her body due to her past sexual life. It came as no surprise when the village was informed that she had contracted AIDS.

Diagnosis on her showed that apart from AIDS she had contracted the COVID-19 disease also. Obviously, this was equivalent to “Two troubles, one God”, an expression used by people to indicate a situation where one person experiences double agonies.

Death

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Her relations did what they could to save her life but after nearly one year, having spent all they had, lost her to the icy-cold hands of death. In other words, death laid its icy hands on her.

Before her death, she confessed that she had lived a very bad life and pleaded for forgiveness by her family. Her disappointed family looked on helplessly as her condition worsened day by day. Her very last words she uttered just before her death were “Oh! Had I known is always at last”.

After her death, some members of her family came around to bury her in line with the demands of custom but other members, disappointed as they were, kept away from the funeral rites saying that “Na who cause am! It is Ama Serwaa herself who has caused her own death”.

What do you think about this?

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It is unfortunate that a situation such as this should arise. Understandably, we can appreciate the concerns of the family members who were disappointed by Ama Serwaa’s deplorable behaviour, but should they pay her back in the same way as she proved to be stubborn when she was alive on this earth?

Don’t you think that it would have been good to forgive Serwaa and actively taken part in her funeral, seeing that she was one of them?

But can you also blame them for their behaviour and the pain they experienced in their hearts?

Your guess is as good as mine.

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By Dr Amponsah-Bediako

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The wonders of love…

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• People showing love and living in harmony

A haircut I had about a week ago didn’t go down well with many. Someone quite close to my heart saw it, examined it critically and felt dizzy.

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“What’s this?” she proceeded to ask me.
“An international hairdo,” I replied.

She was disgusted, in fact disappointed. The problem with the haircut is that the style is neither Punk, Tokyo Joe nor Show Your Back. If anything, it is a combination of all—and I liked it, for a change.

It was when I bounded downtown that someone called me and enquired whether I was no longer a journalist. He said I looked like a well-fed Warrant Officer.

“Class One or Class Two?” I asked.

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Another studied my head as if he was studying physical geography and pronounced that I looked like a boxer who can throw dangerous punches. Still, someone was of the opinion that the haircut didn’t quite fit me, but admitted that I looked like a prosperous merchant.

Commendation

I remember some three months ago, I had a haircut that made two girls fall in love with me. In spite of the fact that the barber was not a graduate, the cut was such that they couldn’t help admiring it. One of them actually ‘checked out’ the style and commended the barber.

The other was more bent on the ‘love matter’ but I was too busy to give her any attention. LOVE!

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I was reminded of this when I viewed a premier showing of the latest Sikaman film titled THE POWER OF LOVE. The film kept me thinking. Some of us have long forgotten about what it is like to be head-over-heels in love. When we were students, we had such experiences because there was nothing doing anyway.

We were either learning how stylishly to smoke ‘jot’ or how romantically to fall in love. Anyhow, I was intrigued by this latest movie because of the way love unlimited was portrayed on screen. It took my memory back many years to relive those youthful days when we felt we’d really die if jilted by our lovers.

The storyline of THE POWER OF LOVE is really an exciting one. The combination of love, treachery and intrigue made me feast my eyes intently on the screen, unbelieving the extent the force of love can reach.

Ama and Afua are good friends. But when it comes to matters of the heart, they have different tastes; Ama is content with only her boyfriend (a student) and Afua samples the bigwigs around town. Afua, not satisfied with the shots in town, wants Ama’s boyfriend Joe in addition. She lies to Joe that Ama has often been picked by a man on four-wheels, whereupon Joe dismisses Ama and takes on Afua.

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Ama doesn’t realise that it is her best friend Afua who is destroying her relationship with Joe until she catches her having sex with him. She collapses and goes out of her mind from the broken heart. But before then, she had been made pregnant by Joe.

Having escaped from a psychiatric hospital, she roams town murmuring Joe’s name. Heavily pregnant now, she espies Joe boarding a mini bus and runs towards him. Joe, seeing her approaching, quickly disembarks and takes off.

Ama pursues him furiously, and he runs to his home where he finds his bosom friend Frank making love to Afua. He immediately realises the treachery of Afua who instigated him to leave Ama.

He intends leaving the home in disgust and meets mad Ama at the door and embraces her despite her madness. Instantly, she regains her sanity.

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Love indeed heals the wounds of the mind and it is the greatest positive force in the world. Incidentally, the greatest negative force is hatred.

Greatest force

Now coming to talk about love, I reiterate it is the greatest force imaginable. That is why a man will butcher his rival to death if he catches him climbing his wife without asking permission; and a woman will go mad if jilted.

It is also for this reason that a young boy who is scared stiff of cemeteries and under normal circumstances would not dare go near one, will this time walk boldly through a cemetery at midnight if that is the only way to his lover’s abode.

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The Bible describes love for our neighbours as the surest way to heaven: Love thy neighbour as thyself.

Unfortunately, what Ghanaians are more interested and skilful in is loving the opposite sex. Romance under the cover of darkness is what we understand love to be all about. When it comes to loving our fellow human beings, we are found wanting.

People hate others just because they are of another tribe and do not speak the same native language. Too much grudge-bearing that does not augur well for national development.

War in Liberia, carnage in Rwanda are the results of the absence of love for one’s fellow being. If everybody could express a little bit of love for his fellow being irrespective of tribe, race, politics or religion, Sikaman—and indeed, the world—will be a more habitable place.

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This article was first published on Saturday, October 29, 1994


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Monsieur’s daughter – (Part 7)

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“Sir,” Ms. Odame said when David Asante answered the call, “my name is Victoria Odame. I’m a teacher at Research School in Koforidua. I would like to come and see you concerning a student called Sarah.”

“Okay, madam. I would be very glad to meet you. How can I make your trip easier?”

“I was going to join a bus to Accra.”

“Here’s what we will do. Take a taxi and ask them to bring you to Accra. I will speak to the driver, give him the directions, and pay him when you get here.”

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The taxi stopped in front of the house. The gate opened, and the driver moved to the long driveway and stopped.

“What a beautiful house,” he said.

David and Adoma came out to meet them. Adoma paid the driver as David and Sarah stared at each other.

“Please come in and sit down,” Adoma invited. She served them water.

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“You are welcome,” Adoma continued. “We have been waiting anxiously since you called this morning. So please, let’s hear you.”

Before she could open her mouth, Sarah rose, moved to David, hugged him, and sat on his lap. They both broke into tears. Adoma and Ms. Odame also broke into tears.

“Sorry, madam,” David said. “This whole episode has been a very difficult one. But let’s do the proper thing. Let’s hear you first, and I will also speak. I’m sure we need to answer some questions immediately.”

“Okay, sir. I have been taking an interest in Sarah because, although she’s brilliant academically, she seemed to be troubled. Following my discussions with her and some whispers I had been hearing, I went to Aboso Senior High School and spoke to your former colleague, Mr. Hanson. He told me that you were an exemplary teacher who was loved by all, and he also told me about the unfortunate events that caused you to leave for Germany. So I returned to Koforidua with the view to finding the appropriate means of helping to solve this problem.”

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“Great. Ms. Odame, I have to thank you for finally helping us to solve this problem. Now, let me state the facts. This is what happened.

“Gladys and I met and got married whilst we were both teachers in the school. Some months into our marriage, she told me that she needed to spend some days with her parents, and I agreed.

“It turned out that she was actually spending time in a hotel with her ex-boyfriend, Simon. This happened again after Sarah was born. I got wind of this and told her that I was no longer interested in the marriage.

“I started preparing to travel to Germany. She pleaded for forgiveness, but I stood my ground. Then she told me that she would punish me for rejecting her.

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“She came out later to say that Sarah was not my child, but Simon’s. She went and hid her somewhere, obviously expecting that I would fight to take my child. I was actually going to do that, but my parents advised me that it was almost impossible to win such a fight.

“They advised that, difficult as it sounded, I should leave the child with her because she would come back to me eventually. I have absolutely no problem taking care of you, Sarah. I am taking care of quite a number of kids who are not mine. So that is what happened. My hands were tied. I have been trying to find out how you are doing.

“I kept hearing that you were doing well at school. I also heard that Gladys and her husband were having problems, but I kept hoping that my daughter would at least be okay till it was possible for me to go for her.”

“Sarah, now you have met your dad. You will be free to—”

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“I’m not going anywhere!” she declared as she held on to him.

“You don’t have to worry about that, Sarah,” Adoma said. “We have been looking forward to the day you come home. This is your home. Now, you have to meet your siblings.” She called Abrefi and Adaawa.

“Girls, we told you that you have a sister who would join us anytime. Now here she is.”

“Sarah?” Abrefi asked.

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“Yes,” Adoma replied. The girls hugged her and took her away.

“Now,” David said, “I think it is time to call Madam Gladys.” He dialed the number.

“My name is David Asante. I’m here in my house with my daughter Sarah. I hear you have told her all sorts of crazy stories about me. I could make life very difficult for you, but I won’t.

“You are your own worst enemy. I don’t think you should be expecting her anytime soon. What do you say?”

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Gladys stayed silent for over a minute, then cut the line.

“Food is ready,” Adoma announced. “Everybody, please come to the table.”

Sarah chatted excitedly with her siblings as Adoma and David spoke with Ms. Odame. She kept staring at her father.

“Now, Ms. Odame, after you have brought such joy into our home, should we allow you to go back to Koforidua today, or should we wait till we are ready to release you? I could call your husband and ask permission.

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“And please don’t tell me you didn’t bring anything for an overnight stay. There are several supermarkets around here. We can fix that problem quickly.”

“I will beg you to release me. Now that I have been so warmly welcomed here, I already feel part of this home. Koforidua is not that far away, so I will visit often.”

“Well, let’s see what the kids have to say. Ladies, shall I release Ms. Odame to go back to Koforidua?”

“No!” they shouted, and all broke into laughter.

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“Ms. Odame, I will have mercy on you. But we are going to do something to make it easy for you to visit us. My wife wants to show you something. Please follow her.”

Adoma led her to the driveway as the others followed. They stopped in front of the car.

“This is a Toyota Corolla 1600. It is very reliable and good on petrol consumption. We are giving this to you in appreciation of your help in getting our daughter back to us.

“And here in this envelope is a little contribution to help you with maintenance. And here in this other envelope is a gift to help with your children’s school fees.”

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As she stood, stunned, and stared from the car to the envelopes, David put his hand around his family.

“Let’s leave her to take a look at her car. Ms. Odame, one of my drivers will drive you to Koforidua and leave your car with you. We are waiting inside.”

By Ekow de Heer

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