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HAD I KNOWN…
At the age of 17, Ama Serwaa had already had three abortions to the surprise of her siblings and class mates who were in the same school within the vicinity.
Ama, as she was affectionately called, was not bothered by this fact even though for many of her friends in the school it was not a palatable story to write home about. To the surprise of everyone, Ama kept boasting to some of her female colleagues who she described as “too green” when it comes to matured life in the world of sexy people of today.
Indeed, Ama’s behaviour was difficult to explain by anyone who was closely associated with her family, seeing that members of her family came from a disciplined christian background. One of her cousins, Yaa Mireku, born two years earlier than her, had lived with an uncle in a nearby town for about two years before coming back to join Ama Serwaa’s family and lived with them.
No-nonsense person
Ama Serwaa’s uncle was one Kwaku Gyasi, a no-nonsense person, who did not compromise on issues whenever it came to disciplining children. His total life as an adult had been characterised by honesty and rigid discipline. It, therefore, came as no surprise when Yaa Mireku ended up as a disciplined young lady in her community.
Yaa Mireku was the type of person who was very friendly to everyone in the community including all the young men but was very careful not to engage in any form of amorous relationship with them. Her father, the late Opanin Kuntor, had been very strict on her and warned her several times to keep away from men who might entice her with all kinds of gifts to misbehave in society.
Christian life
Opanin Kuntor was the type of person who did not joke with his christian life. Though very strict, he was very jovial with children and sometimes behaved as if Yaa Mireku was his age mate. Many people admired Opanin Kuntor for this. As a person, his policy was “Do not spare the rod to spoil the child, but show respect to him as if he is your co-equal”. This made him different from other adults who were over-strict but sometimes unreasonable with showing care of tenderness to children under their control.
Yaa Mireku proved to be a very good girl and was the talk of the town. It, therefore, came as no surprise when at the age of 24 her hand was asked in marriage to the admiration of all. The marriage ceremony took a traditional form and received blessings from a pastor of the Presbyterian Church attended by herself and her grandmother.
Black spot in the family
In contrast to Yaa Mireku who happened to be a very good girl, Ama Serwaa proved to be a black spot in the family and continued as usual with different men who came her way. For her, the most important thing in life was acquisition of assets and properties which, she believed, could make her happy to live a good life.
Ama’s behaviour, as unpleasant as it was to people, proved detestable to well-trained female colleagues in the town. What was more surprising was her readiness to fight any of her colleagues who offered to give her good advice on the need to change for the better, “Mind your own business; we are different and, therefore, have different interests and tastes,” Ama would warn them.
With time, she became known as “we have different tastes.” By this, she meant that, one man’s meat was another man’s poison. If this is the case, she thought, then there was no need to scold her.
Pleasant demeanour
Ama Serwaa’s grandfather was a pastor in the Pentecost Church whose pleasant demeanour appealed to anyone he came in contact with. The children who came to stay with him grew to be good ambassadors and of good character. Having stayed with this uncle for about half a year, Ama Serwaa could not cope with the discipline required of her and, therefore, falsified stories about this noble man who she even described one time as a rapist. Many people did not believe her but others felt that some categories of men, no matter their seemingly piety, could attempt such rape cases on young and beautiful women who could easily be described as “juicy sweet sixteen”.
One day, Ama Serwaa brought an unknown young man to her parents in the community and introduced him as someone she would want to marry. Her parents could not believe their eyes and advised her to wait for some time before getting into marriage, but more as they advised, little was Ama prepared to listen.
AIDS and COVID-19
At a point in time, Ama left her neighbourhood to live with this strange man in a nearby town. Six months after taking this decision, Ama Serwaa became pregnant and wanted to abort it again but, tried as she did, she could not abort it this time. Unknown to her, Ama Serwaa had started developing some complications in her body due to her past sexual life. It came as no surprise when the village was informed that she had contracted AIDS.
Diagnosis on her showed that apart from AIDS she had contracted the COVID-19 disease also. Obviously, this was equivalent to “Two troubles, one God”, an expression used by people to indicate a situation where one person experiences double agonies.
Death
Her relations did what they could to save her life but after nearly one year, having spent all they had, lost her to the icy-cold hands of death. In other words, death laid its icy hands on her.
Before her death, she confessed that she had lived a very bad life and pleaded for forgiveness by her family. Her disappointed family looked on helplessly as her condition worsened day by day. Her very last words she uttered just before her death were “Oh! Had I known is always at last”.
After her death, some members of her family came around to bury her in line with the demands of custom but other members, disappointed as they were, kept away from the funeral rites saying that “Na who cause am! It is Ama Serwaa herself who has caused her own death”.
What do you think about this?
It is unfortunate that a situation such as this should arise. Understandably, we can appreciate the concerns of the family members who were disappointed by Ama Serwaa’s deplorable behaviour, but should they pay her back in the same way as she proved to be stubborn when she was alive on this earth?
Don’t you think that it would have been good to forgive Serwaa and actively taken part in her funeral, seeing that she was one of them?
But can you also blame them for their behaviour and the pain they experienced in their hearts?
Your guess is as good as mine.
By Dr Amponsah-Bediako
When Abigail Fremah steps up to the Armwrestling table, the noise fades, the tension settles, and order takes over.
Despite a calm, but firm and meticulous disposition, she has become one of the quiet forces shaping Ghana’s growing reputation in the sport, not as an athlete, but a referee trusted on the continental stage.
Abigail’s journey into Armwrestling did not begin at the table. Like many Ghanaian sports enthusiasts, she grew up playing several disciplines. Football was her first love, but she also featured in volleyball and basketball during her school years. Sports, she says, was simply a way of life not just for her.
“It runs through the family. All my siblings are into sports,” she stated.
“I was involved in almost every sport in school, football, volleyball, netball, hockey; I did everything,” she recalls.
Her academic background in Health, Physical Education and Recreation laid a solid foundation for her sporting career. While on scholarship at the university (University of Cape Coast), she often used her modest budget to support young athletes, sometimes sharing skills and even T-shirts at programmes she attended. Giving back, she explains, has always been part of her motivation.
However, as she matured as an athlete, Abigail made a critical self-assessment.
“Armwrestling involves a lot of strength,” she admits. “Looking at my body type, I realised I couldn’t fit properly as a competitive athlete.”
That moment of honesty pushed her to a different trajectory but equally important path in sports; which is officiating.
During her National Service, she was encouraged by Mr Charles Osei Asibey, the President of the Ghana Armwrestling Federation (GAF), to consider officiating. He introduced her to a technical official, Mr Hussein Akuerteh Addy, who formally took her through the basics of Armwrestling officiating in 2021.
“I started as a case official,” she says. “We moved from region to region every week, officiating competitions. That’s where it all began.”
By 2022, Abigail was actively involved in national assignments, though she missed the African Championship that year. Her breakthrough came in 2023, when Ghana hosted the African Armwrestling Championship.
It was her first experience officiating at a major international competition and it changed everything.
“That was my first national and international exposure at the same time,” she says. “It really opened my eyes.”
Today, Abigail is a World Junior Armwrestling Referee, a status earned through performance, consistency and discipline. She explains that progression in officiating was not automatic.
“It’s all about performance, your appearance at African Championships, your conduct, how you handle pressure; that’s what takes you to the world level,” she stressed.
As a referee, Abigail’s priority is safety and fairness. Armwrestling, she notes, comes with risks, particularly injuries to the wrists, elbows, shoulders and arms.
“If athletes don’t follow the rules or refuse to listen to officials, injuries can happen,” she explains, adding that focus was everything.
Before every match, she ensures that all equipment which includes elbow pads, hand pegs and table alignment were properly set. Athletes are not allowed to cover their elbows, must grip correctly, and must follow the referee’s commands precisely.
“We make sure everything is fixed before the grip,” she says. “Once we say ‘Ready… Go’, there should be no confusion.”
She is also firm on discipline. Warnings are issued for infractions, and repeated misconduct attracts penalties.
“The referee must be respected, if you don’t listen, the rules will deal with you,” she says.
Abigail credits her confidence partly to her sporting family background. Her mother was a volleyball player, while other family members also participated in sports. Though they were initially concerned about her safety, her rise to the top reassured them.
“They were afraid at first,” she admits. “But they were also very proud, especially because some of them never got the opportunity to reach this level.”
Looking ahead, Abigail is optimistic about the future of Armwrestling in Ghana. In less than a decade, the country has produced African and world-level medalists, a sign, she believes, of great things to come for Ghana.
“Whenever we go out, we come back with medals such as gold and silver,” she says, and to her that was a sign of growth.
In the next five to ten years, Abigail sees herself rising to become a World Master Referee, the highest officiating level in the sport. Until then, her routine remains intense, training four times a week, working closely with athletes, standing on her feet for hours, and constantly refining her understanding of the rules.
“I love this sport,” she says simply. “That love is what keeps me going.”
Abigail encouraged women to be bold and intentional about their place in sports saying “don’t limit yourself because of fear or stereotypes.”
She also urged women to invest in learning, discipline and consistency, stressing that respect was earned through performance.
For Abigail, as Ghana’s armwrestlers continue to make their mark, she will remain where she is most effective at the table, ensuring the game is played right.
By Esinam Jemima Kuatsinu
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As he had promised Aperkeh, the elderly man and his wife and three daughters stopped by Aperkeh’s parents’ house. Mr Amando and his family were preparing to settle in for the night.
“Brother Ben and family”, Mr Joshua Amando said warmly, “although I know you are here on a matter that can hardly be described as joyous, it is still good to see you. You are welcome. Please sit down while I bring you water”.
“Yes, we will take water, even though we are hardly thirsty, because this is our home”.
“Okay, Ben”, he started after they had drank, “Let me go straight to the point. My daughter Priscilla has told me about the goings on between her brother Aperkeh and our daughter Stella.
Before informing me, Priscilla had expressed concern to Aperkeh about some habits he is adopting, especially the late nights and the drinking. She tells me that one Saturday morning, she was there when Stella complained about his drinking and some girls who had come to the house to look for him, and he assaulted her.
I called him and complained, but all he could say was that I don’t know what caused him to react that way, so I could not judge him. Now he does not answer my calls.
I have sent Priscilla to his house to call him, but he has refused to come. Unfortunately, Ben, my son is a much different person than the young boy who completed university and started work at the bank. I am really embarrassed about his treatment of Stella”.
“Joshua, let me assure you that even though what is happening is very unfortunate, it will not affect our relationship.
We have been friends since childhood, and I thought that with their parents’ blessing, the relationship between Aperkeh and Stella would grow to become a blessing to all of us. But there appears to be a real challenge now.
Stella thinks that Aperkeh wants her out of his house, and indeed Aperkeh himself told me that, about an hour ago.
So I’m taking my daughter home. I suggest that you do what you can to straighten him out, but if it does not work out, let’s accept the situation and continue to be one family.
I am sure that being the well behaved girl that she is, Stella will meet a young man who will cherish her. Fortunately, this problem is happening early in the day, so they can sort things out if possible, or move on with their lives if they are unable to stay together”.
“I’m really grateful for that, Ben. I will do my best in the next few days to reason with him, because apart from the relationship with Stella, Aperkeh is risking his job and career with this lifestyle.
A good job and salary offers an opportunity to gather momentum in life, not to destroy yourself”.
“Okay Brother Joshua. We will say goodnight. I hope to hear positive news from you”.
As he descended in the lift from the fourth to the ground floor, Aperkeh wondered who would be waiting at the reception to see him at nine on Monday morning. He had spent good time with both of his new girls during the weekend, so it had to be someone else. He got out of the lift and pulled a face when he saw Priscilla.
“Priscilla”, he said as he sat down by her, “what do you want here? You know Monday morning is a busy time at the bank. I am a very busy person, so say what you want, I have work to do”.
“You are very funny, Aperkeh. You are telling me, your sister, that you have work to do, so I should hurry up? Okay, Dad says I should advise you to come home tonight, because he wants to discuss the issue of Stella with you. He sent me to you twice, and you did not come.
He has tried to call you quite a number of times, but you have refused to answer his calls. He says that if you do not come tonight, you will be very surprised at what he will do. He says you will not like it at all, so better come.
“What is all this? Why won’t you people leave me alone? Stella is very disrespectful. I told her that if she wanted to continue to live in my house, she must obey me. It is that simple.
She chose to continue ordering me about, controlling me in my own house, so I told her that if she could not live under my conditions she should leave. And she left. In fact, her own father came and took her away. So what again?’’
“How did she disobey or control you? Was she complaining about your continuous drinking and late nights? And did you slap her on several occasions because of that? Did you tell her that if she could not live under your conditions she should leave? You actually said that to her father? You have forgotten that before she came to live with you, our two parents met and agreed, and gave it their blessing?’
“Why don’t you leave, Priscilla? I don’t have to listen to all that”. “Okay, I will go. Your father who gave birth to you and educated you to university level sends me to you, and you ask me to leave? I wish you would defy him, and refuse to come home as he’s telling you, because he is planning to give you the discipline you badly need. Let me tell you. Stella is such a beautiful and decent girl, and I assure you that someone will grab her before you say Jack. You are only 30 years old, and you have already become a drunkard”.
As he walked towards the lift, Aperkeh decided on what to do. He would go home, and calmly listen to what his father had to say. The old man was very unpredictable, and he wouldn’t dare ignore him. So he would take all the insults and threats, but as for Stella she was history. According to Priscilla, Stella was beautiful and all that, but she had not seen the two curvaceous princesses who were all over him, ready to do anything he asked. And these were not barely literate waakye girls, but university graduates from wealthy homes, really classy girls. With stuff like that, who needs a waakye girl? He smiled as he took his seat.
A few minutes to five, Aperkeh was packing up to leave for home to meet his dad when his phone rang. It was Priscilla.
“Aperkeh, Dad says you don’t need to bother to come. Stella’s dad says she came to him early this morning to plead that she would rather stay at home than return to your house. She thinks you are already decided to be rid of her, and she does not want to risk being assaulted again. So it’s done. You can go ahead and enjoy the nice life you have started”.
Before he could tell her to go to hell, Priscilla hanged up the line. He was partially stung that his dad had virtually cut him off. The last thing anyone would want was to fall out of relationship with his own family, which had always supported him.
But the truth was he was no longer interested in Stella. What was wrong with going by one’s feelings? He could only hope that one day, his parents and sister would try to reason with him.
By Ekow de Heer
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