Obaa Yaa
Ex-boyfriend offers me job
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27 years old, unemployed and got married six months ago. Though my husband has got a job, his meagre salary can barely sustain the family for a week and things are going bad.
A few weeks ago, my ex-boy friend who treated me badly and almost succeeded in pushing me into the grave, told me that he had got a job for me in his father’s factory.
l rejected the offer outright, having considered the humiliation, pain and maltreatment my ex-boyfriend had meted out to me resulting in the abrupt end of the relationship.
However, when l recollected the toil my husband went through to keep the family going, I eventually decided to accept the offer in order to save the family from disgrace.
Should l accept the job or could this cause me a serious problem?
Ama, Kumasi.
Dear Ama,
This offer could cause a problem in your marriage if care is not taken. Your former boyfriend could be looking for an avenue to entice you into his arms once again.
Moreover, your detractors could use this opportunity to tell lies to your husband about things they have not seen or heard.
Though your former boyfriend could use this opportunity to appease you for the wrongs he had done against you, his brilliant idea could change to envy because of your past relationship.
Kindly turn down this offer to save your marriage and trust in the Lord for another opportunity will knock on your door.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
