Obaa Yaa
I Have No Feelings for Him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 35year –old-lady married to a banker. I am a housewife. I am fair in complexion. I got my left hand tattooed sometime last year. I have never had my peace with my husband because he strongly abhors.
In my attempt to get it erased, I have caused a big scar on my hand which has worsened the situation. Sometime ago, your esteemed paper carried a story about how permanent tattoo can be cleared and a location.
May I know whether it is possible to get the scar and tattoo erased, and how much it would cost.
Worried housewife, Prampram.
Dear housewife,
Since I have no idea how wide and deep the scar and tattoo are, it would be difficult for me to have a meaningful discussion with the specialists at the unit.
I suggest that the next time you visit Accra, you pay a visit to any skincare unit and ask what help they can offer.
But until then, do not apply any self-medication. You may also ask your doctor to advise you as if there is any way out for a surgery. All the best.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Ever since we got married, two years ago, my husband seldom wears his wedding ring except on occasion such as church service, funerals, outdooring and other social gatherings.
For the rest of the week, he goes to work without it. The excuse he gives is that whether he wears the ring to work or not, he is by law married to me.
But I beg to differ. I suspect there is more to it than what he told me. I need your advice on this.
Eno, Ashiaman.
Dear Eno,
Some men don’t like wearing rings; others enjoy it. It is just like how some women like wearing jewellery or large earing while others would rather do away with them.
The fact, however, is that a man can misbehave even when he wears it or not because there are ladies who wouldn’t mind with the ring on.
When he gets back home, he would wear it again. What difference does it make if he doesn’t wear it all?
