Obaa Yaa
Do I deserve love?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
The Bible says in Genesis 2:24, “that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. For this reason, every human is entitled to marry but in my case, I am even finding it different to choose a loved one. It’s been years since I started searching for love but to no avail. The reason is that I am timid when it comes to approaching ladies or even starting conversations.
Not to blow my own horn, but some ladies approach me most often to propose love to me but I have no feelings for such ladies, and the ones I love too I find it difficult to approach them and propose love to them. Do I deserve love? Or I am meant not to be loved by anyone? Currently, I have someone in mind who I am finding difficult to approach but I am afraid that she might be taken by another man. This has been the issue I have been facing over the past years and I sometimes think I do not deserve love or love is meant for other people and not me. What should I do in such a case?
From Desmond Tetteh, Abeka
Dear Desmond.
It’s unfortunate that you refer to yourself as timid. To build your confidence, you could find some books on that to help you. After you have done that, muster courage and approach her, and let her know your intention. Do this before it is late most people have lost their opportunity to express their feeling to their beloved by waiting too long or not having courage to. More importantly, while you make friends with look out for compatibility and compromise where necessary.
Go for Desmond you deserve love and treat her well when she accepts to be with you.
Cheers!
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
