Obaa Yaa
Do I deserve love?
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
The Bible says in Genesis 2:24, “that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. For this reason, every human is entitled to marry but in my case, I am even finding it different to choose a loved one. It’s been years since I started searching for love but to no avail. The reason is that I am timid when it comes to approaching ladies or even starting conversations.
Not to blow my own horn, but some ladies approach me most often to propose love to me but I have no feelings for such ladies, and the ones I love too I find it difficult to approach them and propose love to them. Do I deserve love? Or I am meant not to be loved by anyone? Currently, I have someone in mind who I am finding difficult to approach but I am afraid that she might be taken by another man. This has been the issue I have been facing over the past years and I sometimes think I do not deserve love or love is meant for other people and not me. What should I do in such a case?
From Desmond Tetteh, Abeka
Dear Desmond.
It’s unfortunate that you refer to yourself as timid. To build your confidence, you could find some books on that to help you. After you have done that, muster courage and approach her, and let her know your intention. Do this before it is late most people have lost their opportunity to express their feeling to their beloved by waiting too long or not having courage to. More importantly, while you make friends with look out for compatibility and compromise where necessary.
Go for Desmond you deserve love and treat her well when she accepts to be with you.
Cheers!
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
