Relationship
Beyond the polished glass: everyday scenes at Accra mall trotro station – Part 1
Just outside the polished glass doors of Accra Mall, a different reality unfolds. Amid the traffic, street vendors, commuters and child beggars, the city’s energy flows in sharp contrast to the calm and luxury within.
It is 4pm on a humid Wednesday afternoon outside Accra Mall. In the traffic surrounding the mall, Toyota Corollas, Nissan Navara’s, Kia Morning, Trotros, Mercedes-Benz cars crawl bumper to bumper. They inch their way around the roundabout connecting Spintex Road to the Tema Motorway. Drivers tap their horns repeatedly as the wait grows longer. Passersby slip between the vehicles, weaving their way to the trotro station, roadside stalls or side streets leading to their destinations.
Just beyond the traffic and noise, Accra Mall rises at the heart of the city, bright and busy with shops, eateries and cinemas gathered under one roof. Inside, the contrast is immediate. The air-conditioning hums steadily, keeping the space crisp and cool while shoppers move between stores with bags in hand containing new clothes, gadgets, perfumes and other small luxuries paid for in clean cedis. At the food court, children giggle over ice cream while friends lean over pizza boxes. The smell of fresh popcorn hangs in the air near the cinema entrance.
Since opening in 2008, Accra Mall has stood as one of the city’s most visited commercial hubs. But the calm inside ends at the door. The atmosphere shifts from cool air and clean cedis to constant movement, long waits, and daily survival. Just beyond the mall, the air is thick with heat, blaring horns, and exhaust fumes. It carries the struggle of people whose day does not end with a shopping receipt.
According to MIT’s Atlas of Popular Transport, Trotros carry over 3.5 million passenger trips each weekday and remain the dominant form of public transport, serving more than 70 per cent of Greater Accra’s commuters. Even without precise daily figures, their presence is unmistakable in the routines of Accra’s residents navigating work, school, and trade across the capital.
This scene plays out daily along the busy stretch near Accra Mall, where traffic slows to a crawl and “trotro” queues stretch along the roadside. At the roundabout, beneath a weathered police canopy, a plus-size policewoman in a bright green traffic vest has surrendered to sleep. She lies stretched on a long bench, mouth wide open, chin tilted skyward, as if the whine of horns and coughing engines were lullabies. A few steps away, a male officer in a matching vest, tasked with directing the traffic, stands by the roadside with his hands buried in his pockets, eyes fixed on the parade of cars inching forward and honking in frustration.
Across the street, Accra Mall’s Street commerce bursts into activity. Makeshift stalls are lined up tightly along the roadside. Racks of ready-made African clothing sway in the dusty breeze. Sandals are arranged neatly on plastic sheets. Beaded necklaces in red, blue and gold catch both sunlight and the attention of people passing by.
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
The Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
- Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).
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