Obaa Yaa
My friends intimidate me
Dear Counselor,
I have decided to put this into writing to seek your advice and counsel. I am a 21-year-old girl who completed Senior High School (SHS) three years ago and am currently at home.
During my Basic School and SHS days, I had two mutual friends I always moved along with. We stayed in the same apartment, went to the same schools from basic level to senior high school. We literally did everything together, and our friendship was so strong that everyone thought we were sisters.
We all gained admission into the University, but I could not join them because things were bad financially for my parents. They could not afford my fees to register my courses, so I had no other option than to stay home.
As a result of my situation, my friends no longer relate to me as they did earlier. They take decisions without me, make me feel inferior, and leave me out. Their behaviour, gestures, and negative body language say it all. I was completely broken when they told me I no longer fit into their circle of friendship.
Jessica, Lashibi
Advice
Dear Jessica,
It is really sad that your friends are behaving this way toward you. Here are some steps you can consider:
- Seek clarification: Approach them calmly and ask why they have been acting this way. You cannot live by assumptions alone.
- Value yourself: Even though some friendships do not last forever, being emotionally drained is not the best option. Your 10 years of memories are precious, but you also deserve respect.
- Move on if needed: If your friends continue to make you feel inferior, take a bold step and move forward without them. True friends respect and uplift each other.
- Focus on your future:
- Plan your life and look for menial jobs to cover expenses.
- Save money to further your education.
- Try online courses to prepare ahead of time.
- Apply for scholarship programs to support your studies.
Remember, Jessica, your worth is not determined by others’ approval. Surround yourself with people who respect, encourage, and celebrate your growth.
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Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
