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Obaa Yaa

My family is in distress

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

We are a family of three—my dad, mom, and myself, being the only daughter of my parents.

My dad provided everything we needed; he was a very fun-loving man and the backbone of our family. He was always ready to give us jokes and anecdotes before going to bed, making our lives full of laughter and love.

One morning, I woke up to an eerie silence. I called out for my dad, but there was no response. We were all shocked, confused, and grief-stricken because daddy was our backbone—our emotional and financial support, the one who made us smile no matter the storms we were facing. We kept asking, what did he do wrong?

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Lady Tina, Akosombo


Advice

Dear Tina,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one, especially in a tragic and unexpected manner, is incredibly painful.

Here are some steps you can take to cope and move forward:

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  1. Seek justice and support: If your dad’s death involved wrongdoing, cooperate fully with the authorities as they work to identify the perpetrator.
  2. Lean on your support network: Reach out to trusted family friends, relatives, or a therapist for emotional support during this difficult time.
  3. Care for yourselves: It is very important to take care of both your mom’s and your physical and emotional well-being. Grieving is a process, and everyone copes differently.
  4. Be gentle with yourself: Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Do not hesitate to seek help whenever needed.

Remember, Tina, it’s okay to lean on others and take things one day at a time.

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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