Odd News
Be patient. Listen
I CAME home from work. I was tired. I sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up. My wife brought me a glass of water. My son gave me a sheet of paper:
English Lang. 17 per cent
Biology 35 per cent
Mathematics 40 per cent
Physics 37 per cent
Chemistry 42 per cent
Economics 12 per cent
Agric. Science 19 per cent
Religion Knowl. ABS
Geography 22 per cent
I lost my temper. And started shouting:
“What is this? All the time on phone and TV. How dare you show me such marks?”
My Wife said: “Be patient. Listen….”
I told her: “Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all.”
My Wife said: “Oh! Really?”
I said: “No one in our family has performed so badly ever.”
My Son said: “Dad, I am sorry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. This is your old school report card, dated July 27, 1980 sir.”
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM in love with Adwoa, a 25-year-old banker. She has a 10-month old daughter and I am not perturbed about that. She said the father of the child broke up with her even before the child was born. I loved her even before I knew she had a child, and when she told me she had a baby, it didn’t change anything. Love was still love, and care still flowed between us.
I spent some nights with her, and the behaviour of her baby makes me feel like there’s another man she knows. She cries when I pick her up.
The same thing happens when she wakes up and sees me in bed with her mother. I’m not comfortable with the way that baby looks at me. It’s as though there’s someone else looking at me through her eyes. She doesn’t blink an eye. She looks at me as if I’m not the one she’s expecting to see. Is this normal?
Papa, Swedru.
Dear Papa,
IT’S understandable you’re feeling a bit uneasy about the baby’s behaviour. Given the situation, it’s likely the baby is just picking up on your energy or adjusting to a new face.
Ten-month-old can be particular about strangers. Try engaging with her more during calm moments, like playtime or when she is fed. Build a bond through activities she enjoys and have an open chat with your girlfriend about how you’re feeling; she might notice things you’ve missed. The intense staring could be curiosity; babies are like that sometimes. Take it easy, and don’t overthink it.
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A man who bed-wets went to see a psychiatrist…
Psychiatrist: Does a dream usually precede your bed-wetting?
Man: Yes.
Psychiatrist: Tell me how it happens.
Man: A little demon appears to me in my sleep and says, “Hey… Let us pee.” Then, I wake up to see the bed wet with my urine.
Psychiatrist: This is what you must do. If the demon comes tonight and tells you “let us pee”, just reply him that you have already peed.
The man left and returned the following day with tears streaming down his face.
Psychiatrist: Why are you weeping? Didn’t my therapy work?
Man: You have worsened my case!
Psychiatrist: What? How?
Man: When the demon came, I told him I’d already peed. Then he said, “OK, let us sh*t.”
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