Obaa Yaa
2 women pregnant for my husband
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband got another woman pregnant when we haven’t even thought of having a child. He came to confess to me and asked me to forgive him, I forgave him. It was very hard. Our marriage was less than a year old. We had planned to enjoy our marriage for two years before thinking about making babies.
I forgave him because I didn’t want the embarrassment that comes with it. I was even the one who advised him not to tell anyone about it. It was our little secret, and I encouraged him to take care of the child and the mother.
Two years later, I was pregnant when I discovered another woman was pregnant for my husband. I nearly miscarried as my heart started beating out of rhythm. When I asked him, he confessed. He broke down and cried with me while begging me not to make it an issue.
He said the devil was involved, so I should pray for him. He swore it would never happen again. I was scared for my health and the health of the baby I was carrying, so I decided to forgive and save myself the trouble. That was the hardest decision I’d ever taken in my life, but then again, he was my husband, so I had to forgive him.
My baby was only four months old when I discovered my husband had again impregnated the first woman he got pregnant. It was the woman who called to tell me their second child was on the way. I don’t know why she did that, but I felt so disrespected and broken. Before my husband came home, I had packed out of the house.
I’m in court seeking divorce. My husband is still begging me to change my mind, but I’ve seen the height and depth of shame, and I don’t think I was born to experience this kind of humiliation. Obaa Yaa, did I do the right thing?
Kafui, Kpando.
Dear Kafui,
I am still processing everything you’ve been through. Your husband’s actions are not your fault, and you’ve shown incredible strength and forgiveness. However, it’s clear he’s not respecting your boundaries or marriage.
Leaving the house might be a sign that you are done, and that’s okay. You have tried to forgive and save the marriage, but he keeps hurting you. Your well-being and mental health should be your priority, especially given your past pregnancy complications.
You deserve respect and loyalty in your marriage. Reach out to a trusted family member or a counsellor for support. I believe it is time to consider what’s best for you.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 35year –old-lady married to a banker. I am a housewife. I am fair in complexion. I got my left hand tattooed sometime last year. I have never had my peace with my husband because he strongly abhors.
In my attempt to get it erased, I have caused a big scar on my hand which has worsened the situation. Sometime ago, your esteemed paper carried a story about how permanent tattoo can be cleared and a location.
May I know whether it is possible to get the scar and tattoo erased, and how much it would cost.
Worried housewife, Prampram.
Dear housewife,
Since I have no idea how wide and deep the scar and tattoo are, it would be difficult for me to have a meaningful discussion with the specialists at the unit.
I suggest that the next time you visit Accra, you pay a visit to any skincare unit and ask what help they can offer.
But until then, do not apply any self-medication. You may also ask your doctor to advise you as if there is any way out for a surgery. All the best.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Ever since we got married, two years ago, my husband seldom wears his wedding ring except on occasion such as church service, funerals, outdooring and other social gatherings.
For the rest of the week, he goes to work without it. The excuse he gives is that whether he wears the ring to work or not, he is by law married to me.
But I beg to differ. I suspect there is more to it than what he told me. I need your advice on this.
Eno, Ashiaman.
Dear Eno,
Some men don’t like wearing rings; others enjoy it. It is just like how some women like wearing jewellery or large earing while others would rather do away with them.
The fact, however, is that a man can misbehave even when he wears it or not because there are ladies who wouldn’t mind with the ring on.
When he gets back home, he would wear it again. What difference does it make if he doesn’t wear it all?
