Relationship
A smooth landing or bumpy flight?
Agoo! Agoo! Korkorkor! Hear ye, hear ye! Umofians, gather round! It is another glorious day in the land, and I, the tale-bearer, come bearing news hotter than a fiery coal from the blacksmith’s forge!
Like the King of the jungle returning from a triumphant hunt, the First Gentleman’s return has been loud, bold, and impossible to ignore. Whew! What a comeback, Umofians! Who would have thought that a one-term wonder could make such a glorious return and send the mighty ‘Osono’ running faster than a squirrel at a hunter’s sound?
Ah! How the wheels of time sometimes spin faster than lightning bolt striking the ground! This is indeed a tale for the Pied Piper, the bards who sing of legends, and every tale-bearer who spins a tune so wild, even the gods would lean in to catch a word!
But wait ooo, Umofians! The victory drums have barely finished echoing, yet the village square is buzzing louder than bees in a palm wine calabash, hinting at trouble brewing in the land.
Eii! Eii! Eii! Who knew such a simple act could whip up such fiery storm in Umofia? It seems the First Gentleman’s swap to the ‘Dzata Chariot’ of his Kingsman instead of the ‘Umofia chariot’ has sent ripples through the land. Now, the mighty ‘Osono’ are charging in, trunks ablase, and ready to take the drama to new heights. Indeed, what goes around does come around.
You see, aeons ago, I was lounging under the village baobab tree, savouring my sweet ‘sobolo,’ when news swept through Umofia like a brisk wind. Dearest old ‘King Sakora’ had decided that the old village chariot was a tad outdated!
After all, when one is seeking comfort and perhaps a little shower in the skies, why settle for an old chariot? Ah, the extremes one can go when they need a little extra space to bathe in the sky! But, why linger when the mighty ‘Osono’ has been sent packing?
Well, as we Umofians cling to our stools under the village baobab trees, with eyes squinting at the skies like hawks on the hunt, one might wonder: Are the skies ahead smooth for the ‘Akatamanso’? Or are we in for a bumpy ride full of twists and turns? Only time will tell, right?
In the meantime, whispers from the chief linguist indicate that the First Gentleman will continue soaring in the Dzata chariot. After all, when you have a Kingsman with a chariot, why bother with the village one?
First Gentleman, welcome back to the throne! Your return has indeed been as loud as a lion’s roar in the village square, turning heads and dropping jaws. We, the Umofians, wish you well; may the gods guide your path and perhaps send a little rain to cool things down.
Ehem! A gentle nudge to the ‘Osono’; those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, especially when your own high-flying bath antics have been the subject of village gossip! Or is this just a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’? It seems the ‘osono’ is so eager to call the Akatamanso black, it’s forgotten it is brewed in a blacker pot!
Until next time, stay tuned, Umofians! The skies are full of stories yet to unfold, and who knows what storm clouds might gather next?
To be continued………..
With Eyram, the Tale Bearer
Relationship
Tips to improve family relationships
There is nothing like family. The people that are related by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, greatest sources of love and support.
Too often, however, interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering.
Here are some tips to help bring family members closer
Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else. The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise. Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together.
1. Listen if you expect to be heard. Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”
2. Teach emotional choice. Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviours. Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel.
3. Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving. Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others.
4. Take responsibility for what you communicate silently. The very young and old are especially sensitive to nonverbal cues. More than our words, tone of voice, posture (body language), and facial expressions convey our feelings. We have to listen to our tone of voice and look at ourselves in pictures and in the mirror to assess our emotional congruency. Loving words coming through clenched teeth don’t feel loving—they feel confusing.
5. Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones. Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
6. Make a lasting impression through actions. Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Be an example, not a nag.
7. Acknowledge your errors to everyone, including younger family members. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Apologising proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others.
8. Discover what each person’s unique needs are. You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. When in doubt, ask!
9. Be generous in expressing love. Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most.
Relationship
Building trust in relationships and marriages
Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble.
As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?
How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?
Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish.
Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.
Signs of trust issues
So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:
– Suspicion and jealousy
– Defensiveness and accusations
– Lack of communication or withholding information
– Dishonesty or hiding the truth
– Emotional distance or disconnection
How to build trust
Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:
1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.
2. Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.
3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.
4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.
5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.
Rebuilding trust
If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.
2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.
3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behaviour, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.
4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.
Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).
