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Police seize £70,000 in cash disguised as sandwiches

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 A lorry driver has been jailed after police seized £70,000 in criminal cash disguised as sandwiches.

The money, wrapped in tin foil, was discovered in the cab of the driver’s vehicle in Harwich in Essex.

Police were carrying out routine checks when they noticed the lorry driving the wrong way, perhaps in an attempt to avoid detection.

The driver, 28-year-old Marius Raczynski, was arrested on sus­picion of money laundering after police found a bag in his cab con­taining the packets.

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Officers worked with money laundering and serious crime spe­cialists to secure a charge.

Raczynski has been jailed for 20 weeks for concealing criminal property after pleading guilty at Chelmsford Crown Court. UPI

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I farted in bed

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I said to my wife “1-0”.

She farted and said “1 all”.

I farted and said “2-1”.

She farted and said “2 all”.

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I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.

My wife said, “What was that?”

I said “Half time. Switch sides”.

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The drunk man

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A drunk man

A drunk man comes home late. His wife sees him and angrily exclaims, “Are you drunk again?!”

The man shakes his head and answers, “No, I am not drunk!”

“Okay, then prove it. There’s a clock over there. Can you tell the time?”

“Of course I can!” says the man.

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He turns toward the clock and screams, “Hey! I am not drunk!”

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