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Obaa Yaa

What step should l take?

What step should l take?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I was in a relationship with a lady for about five months and in the sixth month she suggested that we should break- up the relationship.

According to her, her elder sister had informed their parents about our friendship, hence her decision to end our friendship at that point.

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I called the sister to find out why she had gone to that extent but she said she could not do such a thing against me. She went further to reveal to me certain behaviour my lady was putting up.

I did everything l could to make her come back to me but she has refused to listen to my persuasive words.

I am confused and do not know what to do at the moment. Please help me.

Dear Reuben,

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We are sorry to say that per our policy, we only publish the first names of people who send letters to us and not the full names in order to conceal their identity and not to expose them to public ridicule.

Marriage is contracted between two consenting adults and that people should not be coerced into it. 

In marriage situations, central factors which make marriages to work are unconditional love, forgiveness and the spirit of tolerance which make marriages to blossom.

If within these few months your fiancé cannot be truthful, then it is an indication that she does not love you and the future would be bleak.

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This behaviour is to serve as a warning to you that the lady does not love you, therefore, you should not hesitate to take a different plan. Such a relationship has no future because your sister-in-law to

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Obaa Yaa

Let’s protect the girl child

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.

I wished to give birth to boys be­cause my parents gave birth to only girls.

I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.

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What can I do to protect my chil­dren? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.

Araba,

Takoradi.

Dear Araba,

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YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.

Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.

With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.

Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.

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Obaa Yaa

 My mum wants me to end my relationship

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.

I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.

When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.

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Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.

I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.

The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.

My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?

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Efe, Mallam.

*****

Dear Isaac,

Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.

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You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have intro­duced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.

This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trou­ble.

Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.

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