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Obaa Yaa

She hid a secret from me

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.

It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.

But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.

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I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?

Kersi,

Osu.

Dear Kersi,

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Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.

They also get stigmatised by society.

It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.

Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.

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I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.

They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.

I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

Her grandma may become a hindrance

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.

We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.

My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.

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Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.

We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.

Lartey,

Sunyani

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Dear Lartey,

I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.

What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?

Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.

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I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.

Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.

I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.

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Obaa Yaa

Is my girlfriend cursed?

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 I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.

Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.

 We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.

Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.

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She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.

 Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?

 Hello Christian,

What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.

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 Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.

The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.

Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.

Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.

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