Obaa Yaa
Should l take her back?
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Should l take her back?
We had enjoyed a wonderful relationship with the blessings of our parents including our friends.
They described our union as an unbreakable bond of friendship which became the envy of many people.
As our love for each other grew over time, we had the blessings of our parents to marry.
Feverish preparations were made and we were looking forward to a memorable traditional marriage to be followed by a grand wedding ceremony.
However, a few months to the scheduled date, l realised my fiancé’s character had changed to my surprise.
Upon persistent pressure mounted on her to find out the reason behind her attitude, she was bold to tell me that someone else had proposed to her and she would marry him instead of me.
Having considered several factors and upon fervent prayers, l gave in to her decision and she went ahead to marry the man of her choice.
Though downhearted, l was able to pick up the pieces and settled down to marry another lady with an impeccable character.
Four years down the lane, one day my old fiancé called my phone for a lengthy discussion and she later followed up with many visits to my office.
To be brief, her marriage is now on the rocks and she is pleading that though l am married, l should take her as a second wife.
She visits me often, trying to woe me back but l am not moved since l am now married. I have decided to consider her as a family friend, and nothing more to that.
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
I respect you for the high level of resilience you have put up in the midst of such a challenging experience.
Though others could have been swept off their feet to do the contrary, you persisted and gracefully succeeded with ease.
You have done the right thing by not neglecting her totally. You have also done well by accepting her as a family friend and nothing more to that.
Having taken this decision, make sure you go by it and do not allow yourself to be swayed by the relentless efforts of this old lover of yours who is capable of going to all lengths to win your love back.
Know your limitations and stick to your principles to remain unperturbed.
MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.
With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.
Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.
Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.
Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.
Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.
Enyonam, Keta.
Dear Enyonam,
BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.
Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.
Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.
She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.
Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.
It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.
Dear Araba,
THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.
When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.
Araba, Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.
Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.
Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?
What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.
Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.
