Obaa Yaa
She seeks my forgiveness
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27 and my girl friend is 22 years old. We have been friends for 10 months now but staying in different towns.
Recently, she came to me and complained that she had been sacked from the house by her father because she had a confrontation with him.
I advised her to stay with me, but was shocked to discover later that she had a boy friend who lived in the same community with her. When l questioned her, she said the gentleman was a former classmate of her elder sister.
l grew furious and threatened to sack her after which she apologised and asked for forgiveness. What action should l take against her?
Kwame , Accra.
Dear Kwame,
It is not advisable to accept somebody’s daughter to stay with you in the house without the knowledge of her parents. What steps would you take in case she falls into trouble? You would put yourself in a serious trouble.
In view of what had transpired between father and daughter, the lady’s father would not be happy to hear that she is staying with you. You should let her go and apologise to her father.
If she is of good character and you are desirous of marrying her, you can forgive her, follow the right steps towards marriage, monitor her movements and advise her to focus on you alone.
As a man, you must help her to overcome her challenges since she is a young lady.
Greetings
Mrs Mary Poku. God has favoured you with the opportunity to celebrate another birthday. We thank God for this wonderful occasion and pray that He will spread His arms around you and guide you all the days of your life.
From: Mr Joseph Kodzo Poku, your lovely husband, Mr Derrick Jessi Poku, Mrs Geraldine Amoabeng, Joseph Tawiah Poku and Richel Atta Poku, your children.
George Anku Kyekye. June 20 marked a memorable day in your life. As we join you to celebrate this day, we pray that God will answer your prayers and give you peace in your heart. Remember that your maker will always keep you under His protection and constant care. Belated happy birthday.
From: Florence, Eric, Allan, Julie and Francis, your siblings and Albert, Deborah, Allan and Loreen, your children.
Ms Joycelyn Agyapong. You recently celebrated your birthday and l would like to use this opportunity to express my endless love for you. May your dreams be fulfilled with much happiness. A belated birthday to you my sweet heart.
From: Eddie.
Obaa Yaa
My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.
After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.
He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.
I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.
There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.
My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.
Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?
From Frimpongmaa,
Assin Praso.
Dear Frimpongmaa,
I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.
Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.
The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.
The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.
Obaa Yaa
I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.
My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.
Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.
My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.
I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.
I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.
What should I do?
Adzo, Ho
Dear Adzo
If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.
At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.
I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.
Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.
Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.
You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.
Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.
If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.
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