Obaa Yaa
Should l take revenge on my ex boyfriend?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were friends from the Senior High School and became lovers throughout our stay in the university. Our friendship developed to the stage that he said ” l am the apple of his eyes” and he promised to marry me for which l did not hesitate to accept his proposal.
A year after we had completed our programmes in the university, l missed my period, despite the efforts l did to protect myself from being pregnant.
l was embarrassed in view of the situation in which l found myself. l could neither eat nor sleep, and all those who saw me at that time discovered that l had a serious problem in hand.
Though he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy, l failed to comply. However, with time, he mounted pressure on me again and further explained that he was not employed, therefore, he would not be in the position to support me from the antenatal stage through to the time l would be delivered of my baby.
Later, he brought me some herbal concoction which he got from a friend and forced me to take it, failure to which he would refuse to accept the pregnancy and cease to talk to me.
l eventually obliged and took the concoction after which l bled for hours unending and later developed serious complications.
l became unconscious and was rushed to the hospital at the point of death, but was lucky to recover early. l was subsequently discharged after three weeks.
The medical doctor who treated me told my mother that he feared l would not be able to give birth in the future.
Now that l have complications due to the abortion, he has abandoned me and impregnated another lady whom he has promised to marry.
Naturally, l feel cheated and l am considering to take revenge. What should l do?
Nana Awurama.
Dear Nana Awurama,
First of all, we thank God for sparing your life and the ordeal that you have endured.
Take heart as you go through serious emotional moments. It is unfortunate that you allowed yourself to be deceived into taking a decision which is going to cause you the rest of your life, and for which you have yourself to blame.
It is not clear the sort of revenge you intend to take. No matter your plans, revenge could lead you into serious trouble if care is not taken, because you may be influenced by the anger in you to react.
Allow him to go ahead with his planned marriage if his conscience permits him.
Commit yourself to God and He will direct your path. Seek for forgiveness from God and hold nothing in your heart against him.
Forgiveness needs a broad, great and tender heart which you must hold unto and utilise to your benefit.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
