Obaa Yaa
I’m pregnant but my man doesn’t care
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My sister, who is a single mother, is expecting another baby with the same man who has refused to take responsibility for their first child.
According to her, he left when their first child was just a month old and travelled by bus to his hometown (Libya).
Three years later, he returned after a very difficult experience.
He eventually showed up after leaving the family for three years. Upon his visit, she was lured by this man and ended up in bed with him again.
She later found out that she was pregnant with her second child, and she is currently at a loss as to what she should do.
Lilian, Abofu.
Dear Lilian,
When I read such stories, I get very angry with the victims—in this case, your sister—for being so careless.
She was extremely careless by having unprotected sex with a man who does not take responsibility.
As a matter of fact, the situation your sister finds herself in is heartbreaking and frustrating. Carrying another child with a man who has shown a consistent lack of care and respect towards her and their child is a heavy burden.
In this circumstance, her health and that of the unborn child, as well as the first child, should be her priority.
Tell your sister not to rely on the man again. She should rather find something to do to gain some financial independence.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM really disturbed about the new meaning of the word ‘Love’ in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (not in marriage). I feel love should not be based on sexual intercourse.
What do our men mean when they say to a woman ‘I love you’ and what is our women’s understanding of the response ‘I love you too’?
Personally, I have come to understand that most of the time when a man says he loves a woman, all he means and needs is sexual intercourse, and when a woman responds ‘I love you too,’ she also means marriage.
This small research can be confirmed by Walter Trobisch in his book entitled I Married You.
At this juncture, I would like you to use your column to find out from some of our men and women what they really mean when they say to each other ‘I love you.’
Yaa Baby, Takoradi.
Greetings
Dear Yaa Baby,
I MUST say you are quite right to say that the expression of ‘love’ is beginning to take a different meaning.
People seem to have a motive when they say ‘I love you’ to the opposite sex. It may be that they pretend to love just for sex, marriage, or money.
What this does is that the pledge ‘I love you’ leads more gullible partners to disappointment and hurt, while the deceitful partner may also, in the end, fall into their own trap.
So, with the widespread abuse of the phrase ‘I love you,’ men and women should not hasten to believe anyone who says it to them. Even after starting a relationship with their partners, they must continue to observe their actions to ensure the pledge is genuine, not just words.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY boyfriend asked me to spend time with him because it was Valentine’s Day, which I did. We decided not to step out. I prepared some food which we enjoyed with some of his friends and younger brother who had also come to spend the weekend with him.
Later in the night, around 11pm he had a phone call which I received and woke him up. When he saw the person’s number, he immediately cut the line and switched off the phone.
Twenty minutes later, he switched it on and the call came again. Upon picking the call, I heard him tell the person that he was in Accra and not in Takoradi. This I found strange and questioned him when he came back to the room.
He later told me it was a friend whom he was owing some money. I later managed to secretly copy the number and called it the following day. I pretended I was his niece. Obaa Yaa, the lady told me that she was happy to talk to me even though we have not seen each other, and said she was the lover of my boyfriend, much to my surprise.
My man denied the claim of the girl and said he was going to beat her up, telling lies that she was not her lover. Should I forgive this guy or not because he ruined our Val’s Day?
Eyram, Ho.
Dear Eyram,
IF your boyfriend knows he is not up to any fishy game, then he must be at peace with himself. Obviously, he is getting worked up because of the sudden exposure of his double-game plan.
At any rate, there is no need to worry about him and the other girl. They can sort it out even if it is not true she is his lover. He is only putting up a bluff.
What you have to be sure about is if you still love him and think he can be faithful to you. If he cannot be faithful as evidence is showing, then better advice yourself. AIDS is still around, and unfaithful partners are good riddance.
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