Whenever I bought her a gift, took her out, or even complimented her, she would thank me.

 I loved her for always showing appreciation all the time and that made me love her more.

Interestingly, when we got married few weeks into our marriage, my wife has stopped saying thank you.

I can give her the world now, and she would look at it, put it in her purse, and walk away as if nothing had happened.

On top of that, my favourite type of thank you doesn’t come anymore. I even asked if everything was okay with her.

She only rolled her eyes and treated my question as if it didn’t matter. Does that mean thankfulness ceases after marriage? Or is everything now my responsibility, so I deserve no thank you?

Seth, Koforidua.

Dear Seth

A balanced response would acknowledge his feelings while also encouraging healthy communication:

Your feelings are understandable. Being appreciated matters, whether you’ve been married for one year or 20 years. A simple “thank you” can make a partner feel seen, valued, and loved.

At the same time, it’s common for couples to become comfortable with each other after marriage. Many people don’t intentionally stop showing gratitude; they simply assume their partner already knows they’re appreciated. Familiarity can sometimes replace the small expressions of appreciation that were common during dating.

Rather than keeping score or assuming the worst, have an honest but gentle conversation with your wife. Tell her that it’s not just the words “thank you” you miss it’s the feeling of being appreciated. Avoid bringing it up as a complaint or a joke; instead, explain how those little expressions made you feel loved and respected.

Also, lead by example. Continue thanking her for the things she does, no matter how small. Gratitude is often contagious, and when both partners intentionally express appreciation, it strengthens the marriage.

Marriage shouldn’t mark the end of gratitude. If anything, it should be the place where appreciation is expressed most often. A relationship where both spouses feel noticed, valued, and acknowledged is usually a happier and healthier one.

Dear Obaa Yaa

My husband surprised me with a 2025 Cadillac CT4-V Blackwing RWD last year as my Christmas present. I didn’t ask for it. In fact, I would have rather preferred the money given to me to invest in personal projects but anyway, I loved the gesture.

 I drove the car for exactly one week, and then all of a sudden, he was the one using the car. He would leave his car behind and tell me to drive that instead. I let it slide for a couple of weeks because I thought it’s still for the family’s use.

But now, I don’t have access to the car anymore. He has taken over and wants me to use his old car instead. I don’t understand why he would do that to me.

Sharon, Mampong.

Dear Sharon,

That hurts, and you are not wrong for feeling it. A gift that became “his car” in a week feels like a bait-and-switch, not generosity. Before anything, give him a chance to explain -calmly ask: “I loved that you surprised me with the Cadillac. I got confused when it suddenly became your car and I was moved to the old one without us talking. Did you mean it as my car or a family car?” Tell him how it made you feel dismissed, and be honest about what you actually need: either shared access with a schedule, the car fully back to you, or even selling it so you can put the money into your personal projects like you originally wanted.

The bigger issue isn’t just the car – its respect and communication. Decide what outcome you want and state it clearly, without accusing. “In the future, I’d feel more supported if we talked about big gifts first.” If this is a one-off, it can be fixed with conversation. If it’s a pattern of him making decisions and changing them, that’s what needs addressing. You deserve to have a say over things given to you. You don’t have to swallow feeling disrespected just because you loved the gesture.