Obaa Yaa
Should I wait for him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past two years and the only relative he introduced me to, was his uncle.
A month to our wedding, I realised our communication style began to go sour as we didn’t talk like we used to. Three days to our wedding, I didn’t hear from him and all the communication channels I tried, proved futile. Therefore, I cancelled the marriage and till date i have not heard from him.
Months later, I chanced upon him and his family (wife and children) at the mall. He begged me not to create a scene, therefore we agreed to meet later that evening.
When we met, he confessed that I was the one whom he dearly loved however, he was with the woman for some benefits. Thus, he would divorce her after claiming the benefits.
Please do you think I should wait for him?
Abena Tetteh,
Prampram.
Dear Abena,
Marriage is principally based on trust, mutual love and tolerance, therefore, if these points are missing, those involved in the marriage are bound to face challenges.
Thank God that you have identified the true nature of this false lover.
It is not true that he will marry you when he gets the benefits he is looking for.
Do not wait for him because it presupposes that he will abandon you in the future if another lover promises him attractive benefits. Keep in mind that he has children.
In your next relationship, try to do detailed background checks on the person before you commit yourself fully.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
