Obaa Yaa
Should I wait for him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been in a relationship with a guy for the past two years and the only relative he introduced me to, was his uncle.
A month to our wedding, I realised our communication style began to go sour as we didn’t talk like we used to. Three days to our wedding, I didn’t hear from him and all the communication channels I tried, proved futile. Therefore, I cancelled the marriage and till date i have not heard from him.
Months later, I chanced upon him and his family (wife and children) at the mall. He begged me not to create a scene, therefore we agreed to meet later that evening.
When we met, he confessed that I was the one whom he dearly loved however, he was with the woman for some benefits. Thus, he would divorce her after claiming the benefits.
Please do you think I should wait for him?
Abena Tetteh,
Prampram.
Dear Abena,
Marriage is principally based on trust, mutual love and tolerance, therefore, if these points are missing, those involved in the marriage are bound to face challenges.
Thank God that you have identified the true nature of this false lover.
It is not true that he will marry you when he gets the benefits he is looking for.
Do not wait for him because it presupposes that he will abandon you in the future if another lover promises him attractive benefits. Keep in mind that he has children.
In your next relationship, try to do detailed background checks on the person before you commit yourself fully.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
