Obaa Yaa
He is ungrateful despite my assistance
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l met my boyfriend five years ago after he had completed Senior High School and could not continue his education due to poverty.
Though a teenager, l had established myself in a lucrative business and was able to expand it to an appreciable height which enabled me to support him to continue his education.
I managed throughout the period until he had his first degree and did his National Service at Mankesim where l visited him a couple of times.
After the service, he opted to teach in a private school to while away the time. After two years, he was able to secure a job at Takoradi and had to move there.
Friends advised me to convince him to marry me but he pleaded that he would like to gather some money before taking that step.
Months followed and my boyfriend failed to visit home as he used to and prevented me from paying him visits with the excuse that his school had arranged series of weekend trips and extra lessons for the school children.
A good friend who knew of our friendship later told me that my lover was married with a child at his new location. Several attempts made to get him on phone to respond to my concerns and questions failed.
A few days ago, he informed me that he was no longer interested in me and that he was prepared to pay for the cost l had incurred in his education.
I was disturbed, cried for weeks unending and in the process fell sick for one month.
Please my heart is troubled about his behaviour and l am not thinking about the money l have spent to educate him. However, l am disappointed in him. What step should l take?
Comfort, Koforidua
Dear Comfort,
You must be commended highly for the effort you have made in educating your boyfriend who has turned out to become ungrateful.
It is, indeed, true that you must be having traumatic experiences and need a counselor to take you through series of lessons in order to calm the growing tension in you.
Though it is not easy to bear such a painful experience, you must try to overcome the pain this gentleman has caused you.
Put your trust in God and do not forget that He is the greatest provider, will help you out of this problem and reward you with a better husband.
God could be taking you from a serious problem in the future if this gentleman had married you.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
