Obaa Yaa
Ex-boyfriend offers me job
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27 years old, unemployed and got married six months ago. Though my husband has got a job, his meagre salary can barely sustain the family for a week and things are going bad.
A few weeks ago, my ex-boy friend who treated me badly and almost succeeded in pushing me into the grave, told me that he had got a job for me in his father’s factory.
l rejected the offer outright, having considered the humiliation, pain and maltreatment my ex-boyfriend had meted out to me resulting in the abrupt end of the relationship.
However, when l recollected the toil my husband went through to keep the family going, I eventually decided to accept the offer in order to save the family from disgrace.
Should l accept the job or could this cause me a serious problem?
Ama, Kumasi.
Dear Ama,
This offer could cause a problem in your marriage if care is not taken. Your former boyfriend could be looking for an avenue to entice you into his arms once again.
Moreover, your detractors could use this opportunity to tell lies to your husband about things they have not seen or heard.
Though your former boyfriend could use this opportunity to appease you for the wrongs he had done against you, his brilliant idea could change to envy because of your past relationship.
Kindly turn down this offer to save your marriage and trust in the Lord for another opportunity will knock on your door.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
