Obaa Yaa
Should l abort or what?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a final-year student in one of the universities in the country but unfortunately I am pregnant. Though we love each other and have planned to abstain from sex to enable us to complete our studies and have a memorable marriage in the future, we could not resist the temptation and the unfortunate has happened.
My greatest challenge is that our parents are poor and will find it difficult to support me through the period of pregnancy and weaning my child.
Secondly, the pregnancy is likely to prevent me from completing my studies on schedule. What should l do to save the situation?
Ama-Cape Coast
Dear Ama,
At your level, you knew the consequences of sex before you indulged in it. However, thank God that in a tertiary institution you cannot be expelled from school, as it is the case at the junior level.
Though poverty has emerged as your greatest challenge, you can still manage the situation and complete your studies.
It will not be easy but you must gather the courage to maintain the pregnancy. This could be the only child in your life and the probability of this man getting married to another person because you have turned barren is great.
You have no idea what this child would be and this could be a test for you, therefore, brace up and take the challenge.
Greetings
Ms Victoria Alando of the 37 Military Hospital. September 26 was your birthday and irrespective of the challenges of this world, God has been gracious and blessed you with another year. May God be glorified in your life and may you receive grace upon grace and may your heart’s desire be granted. Belated happy birthday.
From: Priscilla Juanita Yogtiba, your daughter, family and friends.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 23 year old lady, a national service person, who have just been posted to a remote town in the Northern Region to serve as a supervisor for a health facility.
After a very long and tiring search, I got a room to rent at an affordable price. My landlord is a male, and for some time now, he has been coming over without my invitation.
He comes at odd times and very late in the evenings, with the excuse of checking on me. Sometimes, I could just be in my room; the door opens and there he is. I am so uncomfortable with this situation and I wish he could stop, but I do not know how to tell him.
I fear he might become offended. I don’t feel safe in my own space since I stepped foot into the compound. I need some privacy!
Juanita, Tamale.
Dear Juanita,
I can feel your discomfort and concern. It’s understandable that you’re feeling vulnerable in this situation. Your safety and privacy are important, and you have every right to set boundaries.
It is very essential to communicate your concerns clearly and respectfully to your landlord.
Consider writing a polite but firm note or having a calm conversation with your landlord, explaining how you appreciate his concern, but you’d prefer it if he could stop to inform you before visiting.
Remember, your safety and comfort are paramount. If you feel that the situation is becoming too much or you don’t feel safe, don’t hesitate to reach out to authorities or organisations to provide assistance.
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