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Where is that vital respect for the elderly gone?
The Holy Bible says in Ephesians 6: 1-3 that, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honour your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land”. Then 1 Peter 2:7, it says, “Honour all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honour the King”.
This shows that the Holy Scriptures acknowledge that respect for one another, especially the elderly is so crucial and important in all schemes of affairs on this earth.
RESPECT AND WHAT IT MEANS
Respect in clear terms means that you accept somebody or persons for who they are even when they are different from you or you don’t agree with them. Receiving respect from others is important because it helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves well. Respect in relationship, therefore, builds feelings of trust, safety and well-being.
Though the definition of respect may vary, it usually centres on character, experience and ethics. Respect often starts from an early age and continues to develop over time. Growing up, our parents usually taught us to show respect to people and things from different backgrounds. We were taught to respect authority, such as teachers, the security apparatus and more importantly our elders and senior citizens. Many of us were also taught to show respect to our dear country or the national flag which is the identity of the nation. Sometimes we respect a position not necessarily the person who occupies that position which is not healthy and the best option.
WHY IS RESPECT IMPORTANT?
Someone may ask why is respect important? The answer is very simple and straightforward. It is an essential qualification for a successful career and is sought after your progress through various stages of leadership and responsibility. Simply put, it is something that you want to earn and something you want to bestow. Wherever you are on your career path, it is never too late to focus on recognising those who deserve respect and for you to broaden your efforts to earn the respect of business associates.
It is important to note that these days, respect for one another, especially respecting the elderly by the youth has become a major problem in this beautiful country of ours called Ghana. The youth of today, see nothing wrong in disobeying and showing respect to the elderly in the society. They continue to ignore pieces of advice from the older generation and often pour venom on them at the least opportunity without any justifiable reason. Many young people are hesitant to show respect to adults if they have been disrespected by other adults.
TODAY’S YOUTH BEING DISRESPECTFUL
One may ask why today’s youth are so disrespectful? The answer is simply because of lack of manners. Whereas previous generations misbehaved as a rebellion against authorities, some of today’s youth are so caught up in their own self belief that no authorities exist in their minds.
Experts feel that the times have changed and the entire society has undergone a vast transformation. The youth of today are certainly not thoughtless or insensitive, but it is just that competition has increased so much that possibly these youngsters have little time and patience. They prefer faster pace of maintaining relation which is via internet or Facebook. Besides, much also depends on the upbringing and values inculcated in them by their parents. Lots depend on the upbringing by parents as they failed to impact good manners which is an asset in personal and professional lives. A well- mannered person commands more respect in society.
PARENTS SHIRKING THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES
It is a fact that most parents of today are a contributory factor to the indiscipline and disrespect to the elderly by their children. They are, indeed, doing a great disservice and leading them astray because these parents for reasons best known to themselves, don’t show interest in their upbringing. Their children dress anyhow, thus exposing their bodies and when the elders try to correct them, then the insults emanate.
The electronic devices such as the internet, mobile phones, with their resultant Facebook (now Meta), Instagram, WhatsApp, among others, have also aggravated the situation with all kinds of dirty and pornographic materials and negative foreign cultures, from which our youth try to copy blindly and you dare not talk of this bad and negative behaviours. The internet and the social media have become the platform for the youth to insult people in high authority by posting all kinds of dirty, obnoxious and unprintable materials castigating people with unfounded allegations.
YOUTH NOT INTERESTED IN ELDERLY ADVICE
The youth of today feel they are on top of issues and, therefore, need no guidance nor advice from anyone on how to manage their affairs. They don’t want to take any advice from the elderly as they consider them people who have outlived their usefulness and are bereft of ideas. They fail to realise that the older generation is a repository of wisdom that they can take advantage of and tap for their own good.
Parents have a major responsibility and task of ensuring that their children are well trained and cultured to respect older people. On regular basis they have to talk to their children to respect the elderly and also to tell them that their behaviour matters a lot to them since they don’t want any disappointment from them whatsoever. They have to explain to their children that they need to be polite to people they know as well as strangers. It is important for parents to make sure that their children know that there are no exceptions to being polite and courteous to elders.
ESSENCE OF RESPECTING THE ELDERLY
Showing respect to others is reciprocal. It simply means that you can get the same amount of respect as you give out. Showing appreciation of kindness is impossible without reverence. The fact is you cannot appreciate someone or something you do not hold in high esteem. You cannot really appreciate God if you do not respect Him. Being respectful shows you are grateful. When respect is lost, trust is lost. The bridge to gaining the trust of others is built by respect. Trust is, therefore, a valuable commodity.
The fact is that people you respect, will not only respect you back, but they will love you also. In reality your respect for others will be the foundation of their love for you. Respect is one of the things that make you teach better people because people will like to hear from you. When you show respect to others, people will look up to you to teach them about things. Finally, not only will your social life improve when you respect others. Your life in general, will become better as a result of respecting others.
Showing respect to others irrespective of their background is so crucial and vital and we need to cultivate this habit to forge ahead. Parents must also show much interest in their children and ensure that they get the needed training that will promote mutual respect for one another, more importantly for the elderly in the society.
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By Charles Neequaye
One of the issues we have been grappling with as a nation is corruption, and it has had such a devastating effect on our national development. I have been convinced that until morality becomes the foundation upon which our governance system is built, we can never go forward as a nation.
Our traditional practices, which have shaped our cultural beliefs, have always espoused values that have kept us along the straight and the narrow and have preserved our societies since ancient times.
These are values that frown on negative habits like stealing, cheating, greediness, selfishness, etc. Our grandparents have told us stories of societies where stealing was regarded as so shameful that offenders, when caught, have on a number of instances committed suicide.
In fact, my mother told me of a story where a man who was living in the same village as her mother (my grandmother), after having been caught stealing a neighbour’s cockerel, out of shame committed suicide on a mango tree. Those were the days that shameful acts were an abomination.
Tegare worship, a traditional spiritual worship during which the spirit possesses the Tegare Priest and begins to reveal secrets, was one of the means by which the society upheld African values in the days of my grandmother and the early childhood days of my mother.
Those were the days when the fear of being killed by Tegare prevented people from engaging in anti-social vices. These days, people sleeping with other people’s wives are not uncommon.
These wrongful behaviour was not countenanced at all by Tegare. One was likely going to lose his life on days that Tegare operates, and so unhealthy habits like coveting your neighbour’s wife was a taboo.
Stealing of other people’s farm produce, for instance, could mean certain death or incapacitation of the whole or part of the body in the full glare of everybody. People realised that there were consequences for wrongdoing, and this went a long way to motivate the society to adhere to right values.
Imagine a President being sworn into office and whoever administers the oath says, “Please say this after me: I, Mr. …., do solemnly swear by God, the spirits of my ancestors and the spirits ruling in Ghana, that should I engage in corrupt acts, may I and my family become crippled, may madness become entrenched in my family, may incurable sicknesses and diseases be my portion and that of my family, both immediate and extended.”
Can you imagine a situation where a few weeks afterwards the President goes to engage in corrupt acts and we hear of his sudden demise or incapacitation and confessing that he engaged in corrupt acts before passing or before the incapacitation—and the effect it will have on his successor? I believe we have to critically examine this option to curb corruption.
My grandmother gave me an eyewitness account of one such encounter where a woman died instantly after the Tegare Priest had revealed a wrong attitude she had displayed during the performance on one of the days scheduled for Tegare spirit manifestation.
According to her story, the Priest, after he had been possessed by the spirit, declared that for what the woman had done, he would not forgive her and that he would kill. Instantly, according to my grandmother, the lady fell down suddenly and she died—just like what happened to Ananias and his wife Sapphira in Acts Chapter 5.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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BY ROBERT EKOW GRIMMOND-THOMPSON
