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Where is that vital respect for the elderly gone?
The Holy Bible says in Ephesians 6: 1-3 that, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honour your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land”. Then 1 Peter 2:7, it says, “Honour all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honour the King”.
This shows that the Holy Scriptures acknowledge that respect for one another, especially the elderly is so crucial and important in all schemes of affairs on this earth.
RESPECT AND WHAT IT MEANS
Respect in clear terms means that you accept somebody or persons for who they are even when they are different from you or you don’t agree with them. Receiving respect from others is important because it helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves well. Respect in relationship, therefore, builds feelings of trust, safety and well-being.
Though the definition of respect may vary, it usually centres on character, experience and ethics. Respect often starts from an early age and continues to develop over time. Growing up, our parents usually taught us to show respect to people and things from different backgrounds. We were taught to respect authority, such as teachers, the security apparatus and more importantly our elders and senior citizens. Many of us were also taught to show respect to our dear country or the national flag which is the identity of the nation. Sometimes we respect a position not necessarily the person who occupies that position which is not healthy and the best option.
WHY IS RESPECT IMPORTANT?
Someone may ask why is respect important? The answer is very simple and straightforward. It is an essential qualification for a successful career and is sought after your progress through various stages of leadership and responsibility. Simply put, it is something that you want to earn and something you want to bestow. Wherever you are on your career path, it is never too late to focus on recognising those who deserve respect and for you to broaden your efforts to earn the respect of business associates.
It is important to note that these days, respect for one another, especially respecting the elderly by the youth has become a major problem in this beautiful country of ours called Ghana. The youth of today, see nothing wrong in disobeying and showing respect to the elderly in the society. They continue to ignore pieces of advice from the older generation and often pour venom on them at the least opportunity without any justifiable reason. Many young people are hesitant to show respect to adults if they have been disrespected by other adults.
TODAY’S YOUTH BEING DISRESPECTFUL
One may ask why today’s youth are so disrespectful? The answer is simply because of lack of manners. Whereas previous generations misbehaved as a rebellion against authorities, some of today’s youth are so caught up in their own self belief that no authorities exist in their minds.
Experts feel that the times have changed and the entire society has undergone a vast transformation. The youth of today are certainly not thoughtless or insensitive, but it is just that competition has increased so much that possibly these youngsters have little time and patience. They prefer faster pace of maintaining relation which is via internet or Facebook. Besides, much also depends on the upbringing and values inculcated in them by their parents. Lots depend on the upbringing by parents as they failed to impact good manners which is an asset in personal and professional lives. A well- mannered person commands more respect in society.
PARENTS SHIRKING THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES
It is a fact that most parents of today are a contributory factor to the indiscipline and disrespect to the elderly by their children. They are, indeed, doing a great disservice and leading them astray because these parents for reasons best known to themselves, don’t show interest in their upbringing. Their children dress anyhow, thus exposing their bodies and when the elders try to correct them, then the insults emanate.
The electronic devices such as the internet, mobile phones, with their resultant Facebook (now Meta), Instagram, WhatsApp, among others, have also aggravated the situation with all kinds of dirty and pornographic materials and negative foreign cultures, from which our youth try to copy blindly and you dare not talk of this bad and negative behaviours. The internet and the social media have become the platform for the youth to insult people in high authority by posting all kinds of dirty, obnoxious and unprintable materials castigating people with unfounded allegations.
YOUTH NOT INTERESTED IN ELDERLY ADVICE
The youth of today feel they are on top of issues and, therefore, need no guidance nor advice from anyone on how to manage their affairs. They don’t want to take any advice from the elderly as they consider them people who have outlived their usefulness and are bereft of ideas. They fail to realise that the older generation is a repository of wisdom that they can take advantage of and tap for their own good.
Parents have a major responsibility and task of ensuring that their children are well trained and cultured to respect older people. On regular basis they have to talk to their children to respect the elderly and also to tell them that their behaviour matters a lot to them since they don’t want any disappointment from them whatsoever. They have to explain to their children that they need to be polite to people they know as well as strangers. It is important for parents to make sure that their children know that there are no exceptions to being polite and courteous to elders.
ESSENCE OF RESPECTING THE ELDERLY
Showing respect to others is reciprocal. It simply means that you can get the same amount of respect as you give out. Showing appreciation of kindness is impossible without reverence. The fact is you cannot appreciate someone or something you do not hold in high esteem. You cannot really appreciate God if you do not respect Him. Being respectful shows you are grateful. When respect is lost, trust is lost. The bridge to gaining the trust of others is built by respect. Trust is, therefore, a valuable commodity.
The fact is that people you respect, will not only respect you back, but they will love you also. In reality your respect for others will be the foundation of their love for you. Respect is one of the things that make you teach better people because people will like to hear from you. When you show respect to others, people will look up to you to teach them about things. Finally, not only will your social life improve when you respect others. Your life in general, will become better as a result of respecting others.
Showing respect to others irrespective of their background is so crucial and vital and we need to cultivate this habit to forge ahead. Parents must also show much interest in their children and ensure that they get the needed training that will promote mutual respect for one another, more importantly for the elderly in the society.
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By Charles Neequaye
When Abigail Fremah steps up to the Armwrestling table, the noise fades, the tension settles, and order takes over.
Despite a calm, but firm and meticulous disposition, she has become one of the quiet forces shaping Ghana’s growing reputation in the sport, not as an athlete, but a referee trusted on the continental stage.
Abigail’s journey into Armwrestling did not begin at the table. Like many Ghanaian sports enthusiasts, she grew up playing several disciplines. Football was her first love, but she also featured in volleyball and basketball during her school years. Sports, she says, was simply a way of life not just for her.
“It runs through the family. All my siblings are into sports,” she stated.
“I was involved in almost every sport in school, football, volleyball, netball, hockey; I did everything,” she recalls.
Her academic background in Health, Physical Education and Recreation laid a solid foundation for her sporting career. While on scholarship at the university (University of Cape Coast), she often used her modest budget to support young athletes, sometimes sharing skills and even T-shirts at programmes she attended. Giving back, she explains, has always been part of her motivation.
However, as she matured as an athlete, Abigail made a critical self-assessment.
“Armwrestling involves a lot of strength,” she admits. “Looking at my body type, I realised I couldn’t fit properly as a competitive athlete.”
That moment of honesty pushed her to a different trajectory but equally important path in sports; which is officiating.
During her National Service, she was encouraged by Mr Charles Osei Asibey, the President of the Ghana Armwrestling Federation (GAF), to consider officiating. He introduced her to a technical official, Mr Hussein Akuerteh Addy, who formally took her through the basics of Armwrestling officiating in 2021.
“I started as a case official,” she says. “We moved from region to region every week, officiating competitions. That’s where it all began.”
By 2022, Abigail was actively involved in national assignments, though she missed the African Championship that year. Her breakthrough came in 2023, when Ghana hosted the African Armwrestling Championship.
It was her first experience officiating at a major international competition and it changed everything.
“That was my first national and international exposure at the same time,” she says. “It really opened my eyes.”
Today, Abigail is a World Junior Armwrestling Referee, a status earned through performance, consistency and discipline. She explains that progression in officiating was not automatic.
“It’s all about performance, your appearance at African Championships, your conduct, how you handle pressure; that’s what takes you to the world level,” she stressed.
As a referee, Abigail’s priority is safety and fairness. Armwrestling, she notes, comes with risks, particularly injuries to the wrists, elbows, shoulders and arms.
“If athletes don’t follow the rules or refuse to listen to officials, injuries can happen,” she explains, adding that focus was everything.
Before every match, she ensures that all equipment which includes elbow pads, hand pegs and table alignment were properly set. Athletes are not allowed to cover their elbows, must grip correctly, and must follow the referee’s commands precisely.
“We make sure everything is fixed before the grip,” she says. “Once we say ‘Ready… Go’, there should be no confusion.”
She is also firm on discipline. Warnings are issued for infractions, and repeated misconduct attracts penalties.
“The referee must be respected, if you don’t listen, the rules will deal with you,” she says.
Abigail credits her confidence partly to her sporting family background. Her mother was a volleyball player, while other family members also participated in sports. Though they were initially concerned about her safety, her rise to the top reassured them.
“They were afraid at first,” she admits. “But they were also very proud, especially because some of them never got the opportunity to reach this level.”
Looking ahead, Abigail is optimistic about the future of Armwrestling in Ghana. In less than a decade, the country has produced African and world-level medalists, a sign, she believes, of great things to come for Ghana.
“Whenever we go out, we come back with medals such as gold and silver,” she says, and to her that was a sign of growth.
In the next five to ten years, Abigail sees herself rising to become a World Master Referee, the highest officiating level in the sport. Until then, her routine remains intense, training four times a week, working closely with athletes, standing on her feet for hours, and constantly refining her understanding of the rules.
“I love this sport,” she says simply. “That love is what keeps me going.”
Abigail encouraged women to be bold and intentional about their place in sports saying “don’t limit yourself because of fear or stereotypes.”
She also urged women to invest in learning, discipline and consistency, stressing that respect was earned through performance.
For Abigail, as Ghana’s armwrestlers continue to make their mark, she will remain where she is most effective at the table, ensuring the game is played right.
By Esinam Jemima Kuatsinu
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As he had promised Aperkeh, the elderly man and his wife and three daughters stopped by Aperkeh’s parents’ house. Mr Amando and his family were preparing to settle in for the night.
“Brother Ben and family”, Mr Joshua Amando said warmly, “although I know you are here on a matter that can hardly be described as joyous, it is still good to see you. You are welcome. Please sit down while I bring you water”.
“Yes, we will take water, even though we are hardly thirsty, because this is our home”.
“Okay, Ben”, he started after they had drank, “Let me go straight to the point. My daughter Priscilla has told me about the goings on between her brother Aperkeh and our daughter Stella.
Before informing me, Priscilla had expressed concern to Aperkeh about some habits he is adopting, especially the late nights and the drinking. She tells me that one Saturday morning, she was there when Stella complained about his drinking and some girls who had come to the house to look for him, and he assaulted her.
I called him and complained, but all he could say was that I don’t know what caused him to react that way, so I could not judge him. Now he does not answer my calls.
I have sent Priscilla to his house to call him, but he has refused to come. Unfortunately, Ben, my son is a much different person than the young boy who completed university and started work at the bank. I am really embarrassed about his treatment of Stella”.
“Joshua, let me assure you that even though what is happening is very unfortunate, it will not affect our relationship.
We have been friends since childhood, and I thought that with their parents’ blessing, the relationship between Aperkeh and Stella would grow to become a blessing to all of us. But there appears to be a real challenge now.
Stella thinks that Aperkeh wants her out of his house, and indeed Aperkeh himself told me that, about an hour ago.
So I’m taking my daughter home. I suggest that you do what you can to straighten him out, but if it does not work out, let’s accept the situation and continue to be one family.
I am sure that being the well behaved girl that she is, Stella will meet a young man who will cherish her. Fortunately, this problem is happening early in the day, so they can sort things out if possible, or move on with their lives if they are unable to stay together”.
“I’m really grateful for that, Ben. I will do my best in the next few days to reason with him, because apart from the relationship with Stella, Aperkeh is risking his job and career with this lifestyle.
A good job and salary offers an opportunity to gather momentum in life, not to destroy yourself”.
“Okay Brother Joshua. We will say goodnight. I hope to hear positive news from you”.
As he descended in the lift from the fourth to the ground floor, Aperkeh wondered who would be waiting at the reception to see him at nine on Monday morning. He had spent good time with both of his new girls during the weekend, so it had to be someone else. He got out of the lift and pulled a face when he saw Priscilla.
“Priscilla”, he said as he sat down by her, “what do you want here? You know Monday morning is a busy time at the bank. I am a very busy person, so say what you want, I have work to do”.
“You are very funny, Aperkeh. You are telling me, your sister, that you have work to do, so I should hurry up? Okay, Dad says I should advise you to come home tonight, because he wants to discuss the issue of Stella with you. He sent me to you twice, and you did not come.
He has tried to call you quite a number of times, but you have refused to answer his calls. He says that if you do not come tonight, you will be very surprised at what he will do. He says you will not like it at all, so better come.
“What is all this? Why won’t you people leave me alone? Stella is very disrespectful. I told her that if she wanted to continue to live in my house, she must obey me. It is that simple.
She chose to continue ordering me about, controlling me in my own house, so I told her that if she could not live under my conditions she should leave. And she left. In fact, her own father came and took her away. So what again?’’
“How did she disobey or control you? Was she complaining about your continuous drinking and late nights? And did you slap her on several occasions because of that? Did you tell her that if she could not live under your conditions she should leave? You actually said that to her father? You have forgotten that before she came to live with you, our two parents met and agreed, and gave it their blessing?’
“Why don’t you leave, Priscilla? I don’t have to listen to all that”. “Okay, I will go. Your father who gave birth to you and educated you to university level sends me to you, and you ask me to leave? I wish you would defy him, and refuse to come home as he’s telling you, because he is planning to give you the discipline you badly need. Let me tell you. Stella is such a beautiful and decent girl, and I assure you that someone will grab her before you say Jack. You are only 30 years old, and you have already become a drunkard”.
As he walked towards the lift, Aperkeh decided on what to do. He would go home, and calmly listen to what his father had to say. The old man was very unpredictable, and he wouldn’t dare ignore him. So he would take all the insults and threats, but as for Stella she was history. According to Priscilla, Stella was beautiful and all that, but she had not seen the two curvaceous princesses who were all over him, ready to do anything he asked. And these were not barely literate waakye girls, but university graduates from wealthy homes, really classy girls. With stuff like that, who needs a waakye girl? He smiled as he took his seat.
A few minutes to five, Aperkeh was packing up to leave for home to meet his dad when his phone rang. It was Priscilla.
“Aperkeh, Dad says you don’t need to bother to come. Stella’s dad says she came to him early this morning to plead that she would rather stay at home than return to your house. She thinks you are already decided to be rid of her, and she does not want to risk being assaulted again. So it’s done. You can go ahead and enjoy the nice life you have started”.
Before he could tell her to go to hell, Priscilla hanged up the line. He was partially stung that his dad had virtually cut him off. The last thing anyone would want was to fall out of relationship with his own family, which had always supported him.
But the truth was he was no longer interested in Stella. What was wrong with going by one’s feelings? He could only hope that one day, his parents and sister would try to reason with him.
By Ekow de Heer
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