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Wahala of Christian marriages
EVERY marriage has its expiry date. Beyond it, there is no redemption. The marriage must be dissolved, else it will drown in the waters of its own dissolution. The marriage will commit suicide.
The test of any Christian marriage is not whether it can subsist beyond its pro-visional expiry, but whether it can regenerate itself to become new, in the same way as those who repent become new in Christ Jesus.
In other words, any Christian marriage must have the mechanism to reverse the chemistry of its disintegration so that its expiry will only be a date for renewal, a rebirth of matrimony. In short, every Christian marriage must be capable of being born again, if nicodemously, all the better.
The truth, however, is that, it takes two to tango. If one party is willing and the other is not, then the “chemical bonding” cannot perpetuate and the marriage must crumble. It doesn’t matter whether the two are devils or saints.
The reality is that many marriages have long expired, but the couples live under one roof for convenience. Sometimes it is more expensive to divorce a woman than give her some space in your home to roost.
FORKLIFT
Some women also are not easy to kick out. You have to employ a grader and fork-lift to forcibly carry them out. Of course, she’d take you to WAJU, but the action would have been worth it.
Now, the computer has done many wonderful things and can even play chess. The only failure of the computer is that it has still not been able to understand marriage. Many have fed the computer with all sorts of formulae for a successful marriage. Go on the internet and you’ll behold a thousand and one marriage formulae under construction.
All sorts of formulae are also rehashed and theorems propounded at marriage seminars. Some work, others don’t, because every marriage is peculiar in a way and must be considered on its own merit. There is no general formula for any love relationship.
Some people claim that their marriages lasted 20 and 30 years, so they are experts in marriage. They make me laugh. Instead of claiming to be experts and specialists of marriage, they should rather thank God that they met the right women.
Incidentally, those who have married four or five times also claim they are rather the experts. They claim they have sampled a variety of women and therefore they know women inside out. Yet – they couldn’t handle any single marriage after as many as four attempts.
As already hinted, every marriage is a test case of its own. To apply any theorem to its success or failure will be an exercise in futility. The success recipe for every marriage is unique and every marriage has its own DNA or identity code.
Some seemingly happy homes are theatres of war. They have everything you can imagine a home will have. But as for marital peace, it is a scarce commodity. The wife doesn’t talk to the husband and vice versa. Some couples even adopt the sign language. Wonderful Jesus!
Now, so long as there is something called “marriage”, there must be another called “divorce.” Divorce comes in when a marriage has gone ‘tired’ and needs rest. The couple never thought it would be so tiresome.
MISTAKE
The problem with divorce is that some people cannot cope with it. They get divorced from the courts today, and tomorrow they think it is a mistake. They want their partners back. That is also why it is necessary to really debate within oneself whether divorce is the better option.
In many cases, however, divorce is the best thing. The marriage has expired ten times over and there is no basis for pretending it still exists. And if the couple are not separated, any little friction can result in a domestic explosion. People even shoot their spouses. Cases like that abound.
Unfortunately, the Bible frowns on divorce, except of course in cases of adultery where it is permissible.
The question people are asking is whether, adultery or not, a man of God can seek divorce. People say if he does, then how can he counsel the fold on marriage and initiate them into Holy Matrimony?
It brings into question what the identity code of the marriage is, since no two marriages are identical.
If it has a self-destructive code such that the perpetuation of the marriage is likely to cause an implosion, then divorce is inevitable. On the other hand, can the couple rise above it all and give new birth to their marriage in a sincere and conscionable manner?
This article was first published on Saturday July 26, 2006
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Public awareness campaigns have successfully cast breast cancer into the global spotlight, typically framed through a uniform lens of pink ribbons, early detection drives and triumphant stories of survival. While these initiatives have driven vital mammography compliance and research funding, they often perpetuate a sanitised narrative. Beneath the polished public messaging lie complex, less-discussed clinical realities and emotional burdens that patients, families and healthcare providers must navigate long after the initial medical milestones have passed.
Moving towards an honest discourse
Acknowledging these untold truths does not diminish the incredible advancements achieved in modern oncology; rather, it humanises the patient experience. Expanding our cultural understanding beyond the simplistic “warrior” trope allows for deeper institutional support, better long-term medical management and genuine empathy for the lifelong journey of survivorship.
When people see breast cancer in movies or awareness campaigns, they usually see a neat story: someone gets diagnosed, goes through treatment, rings a celebration bell and goes right back to normal.
In real life, the journey is much more complicated. Let us break down five “hidden truths” about breast cancer using everyday examples.
Truth 1: The “Post-Treatment Cliff” (Life after treatment)
What it means: Everyone thinks that once medical treatments, such as surgery or chemotherapy, are over, the patient instantly returns to their old self. In reality, that is when a whole new set of challenges begins.
The example: Imagine finishing a gruelling uphill marathon. You cross the finish line, but your legs are still shaking, you are exhausted, and everyone else goes home while you are left trying to recover. Many survivors deal with long-term side effects, such as constant tiredness, numbness in their fingers or swelling, called lymphoedema, for years.
Truth 2: Catching it early is great, but not a magic shield
What it means: Early detection saves lives, but some types of cancer are so aggressive that even a small tumour can behave like a runaway train.
The example: Think of weeds in a garden. If you spot a weed early, you can usually pull it right out. But certain aggressive “weeds” spread seeds everywhere or grow roots so fast that even finding them early does not stop them from trying to pop up somewhere else later.
Truth 3: The long, hard marathon of daily pills
What it means: For many survivors whose cancer is hormone-receptor-positive, treatment does not stop when surgery ends. They may have to take hormone-blocking pills every day for five to ten years.
The example: These daily pills act like security guards keeping the enemy away, but they can also bring troublesome side effects, such as joint stiffness, sudden hot flashes or weakened bones. Because of this, taking the medication can feel like a daily chore that reminds patients of the cancer for a decade.
Truth 4: People we forget about (Men and young adults)
What it means: Public campaigns often focus on older women. Because of this, other groups affected by breast cancer may be caught off guard.
The example: Men can develop breast cancer, too, because they are born with a small amount of breast tissue. However, because some men think it is a “women’s disease”, they may ignore an unusual lump in their chest for months, resulting in a later diagnosis. Young adults under 40 face a different shock, having to worry about fertility, having children and career interruptions right in the middle of building their lives.
Truth 5: The hidden price tag (Financial stress)
What it means: A medical diagnosis brings a heavy second burden: financial strain.
The example: Even with good health insurance, additional costs can pile up quickly, including specialised scans, genetic testing, expensive prescription drugs and taking weeks or months off work to recover. It can feel like dealing with two crises at the same time: trying to heal the body while worrying about bills.
Talking about these harder truths does not mean we should not celebrate survivors. It simply means we need to understand the real, full picture of what people go through.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson
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As soon as a married man becomes infected with the he-goat mentality, he is bound to forget that he has a wife.
It is often a tragedy because he can completely lose focus and generally start misbehaving. He considers his wife a headache, at best a pain in the neck.
The man has got a new girlfriend and is excited. And when he sees his wife, he wonders what she is doing in his home. Maybe she is only a stray dog in need of shelter. And Jesus Christ, won’t she just keep out of the way?
The married man who has gone into extramarital affairs is half the time engaged in mindless fantasy. He is engrossed in devising many ways to please his newfound lover. And if the girl is explosive in bed, the fantasy could spiral into the fourth dimension.
It could be that his wife is basically an “old layer” who can no longer take him to the heavens and back. The girlfriend, however, can take him on a trip into space, meandering through the galaxy of stars, down the Milky Way. It can be an experience of a lifetime.
Normally, after such a trip, the married man will forget that he even has a home and children. He becomes a fugitive.
What he needs is deliverance. So his wife will go to the pastor and tell him that her husband has developed very strange symptoms.
First, the man is behaving practically like a he-goat, sniffing desperately after young women. Secondly, he cannot find his way back home.
The pastor is likely to diagnose the ailment on the spot. He does not need to conduct a blood test to offer a prognosis. “It is the spirit of lust,” the man of God will say. “The Lord is in control.”
Sometimes prayers are effective, and the man heads back home. For very curious reasons, he remembers that he had lost his way. So he returns to his family, wondering what might have been happening to him. So long!
Other times, prayer worsens the case. It is not that the prayers are not being answered. God has only given the lecherous bloke a long rope on his own balls. It is as if the prayers drive him further and further away from the world of reason. For as long as three years, his soul is restless. It is in bondage!
The man forgets that the young girl he has been riding will one day marry and leave him in the cold. That day will surely come.
Now, when a married man is jilted by his girlfriend, he remembers that he has a wife. He had almost forgotten that he went and wedded a woman and called her his wife.
The jilted man will lick his wounds and trace his way back home. His wife would wonder whether he had lost his way. Anyhow, she will welcome him back home.
He becomes the loving husband he once was, and his wife is amazed. What might have happened to her man? Was he struck on the way to Damascus? Or on his way back?
When the man is sober, he will decide to calculate how much he has spent on that useless girl who said she was going to get married to some equally useless cockroach.
He realises that, in the short span of sexual enjoyment and extramarital bliss, he has lost all his lifetime savings, enough to build two-storey buildings.
Last Saturday, some youths who distinguished themselves in various endeavours were awarded at an excellence awards ceremony.
The males should always have it at the back of their minds that chasing women is what brings down both the weak and the strong, the poor and the rich, the lettered and the unlettered.
This article was first published on Saturday, August 26, 2006.
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