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Waakye Girl –Part 1

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As usual, David dropped his sister Adwoa at the junction of Africa road, and was rejoining the road for the drive to the office when he saw her dishing out waakye to a customer a few metres away.

What a drop-dead beauty, he told himself the following morning, he stopped to buy some waakye, and greeted her rather nicely.

The waakye was very tasty, so he stopped by the next day, and the next. Her two sisters noticed his interest so after the third day, one of them walked over to his car as he was about to drive off, and gave her some unfriendly advice. 

“Sir, my sister has been betrothed to a young man, a graduate like you, so please leave her alone. Maybe you don’t mean any harm, but I just want to let you know, just in case.”                                                                                                                        “Okay, madam,” David said. “She is certainly very beautiful, and I admired her, but I would never have meant her any harm, still, thanks for advising me. The young man who got her is very lucky.” She walked away, unimpressed with his long talk.

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He continued to buy from her for about six months. She was always polite and friendly. Mostly when he bought several packs for his colleagues, she carried them to his car.

He never got over thinking that whoever had won the girl was indeed very fortunate. Perhaps he was well known to the family, or even from the same town.

The fact that her sister had come over to drop a ‘friendly warning’ showed that the connection was very close, and they were not going to allow any nonsense to happen to it.

One day, when her sisters were not available she asked him his name, and he followed it up by giving her his number. “I’m sure you can remember it easily. 0244 244 240. You can just call once in a while to say hello. Please don’t be afraid of me. I don’t mean any harm.” She flashed a bigger smile and assured him that she would call. She said her name was Stella.

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One afternoon she called him, sounding a little distraught. “David, please, I need some advice. Can I meet you anywhere near our joint? It can be very early in the morning, say by 6:30 a.m., or in the afternoon at about 3:00 p.m.”                                     “Six thirty in the morning is fine, but I can come over this afternoon, if it’s okay. I can stop at about 50 metres from your joint, in front of the bank.”                                                     “Yes, that would be fine. Thank you very much.”

She was waiting, and she joined him in the car. He moved some metres forward, to avoid prying eyes. She thanked him for making time to see him, and went straight to the point.            

                                                                                                                                “David, I have no one to help me that is why I am talking to you. You see, my parents agreed with a young man from our home town that he would marry me. He appeared to like me, but I soon realised that he was more interested in having sex with me than marrying me.

My sisters and parents kept pushing me into the relationship, saying that he is one of the few people from our town who has been to university, so this is one chance to get a good marriage and have children who would have a good future.

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Due to their pressure I went into it, even though he had only promised to marry me. It is obvious that he does not love me, and I have realised that he and his friends call me ‘waakye girl’.

 He goes out and comes late, and on two occasions when I complained about this he slapped me. I told my people but they are adamant that such problems are normal in every relationship, so I should have patience.

You see, the truth is that I don’t love him, and since he is only interested in a sexual relationship with me, sooner or later he will drop me. I have tried to explain this but my parents just don’t agree.”

“Okay, Stella I see the problem, clearly now, here’s my advice you must never allow him to lay his hands on you, not even if he is married to you. So, next time he tries to assault you, warn him that you will report him to the police.

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Maybe he already knows that your parents will not pursue charges against him, so he does not fear that.

In any case, resist him whenever he makes an attempt, or leave the house. Your parents should not allow this. Please, let me know how things develop, things might change.

He may realise how lucky he is to get a girl like you and please, always delete all call records and messages you make to me.”

She called him three weeks later. “David, I’m afraid things have not improved, a few days after we spoke, I went to him when he was preparing for bed, and told him that I had problems with his late hours, with his manner of speaking with me, and with the beatings.

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He gave me a very nasty reply, he asked me to go and ask my father if he does not beat my mother when she misbehaves, and reminded me that in our town beating is the accepted means of disciplining your wife.

If I did not want him to beat me, then I should behave myself, and he concluded that many girls from my hometown would be happy to be living with a graduate like him.

The next day, he slapped me because I asked about a girl who had come to the house to ask of him. I went and complained to my parents, and they came to the house. He was drunk, and he was very rude to them.

 He asked my father if he never beat his wife, and advised him to take me away if he did not agree to the discipline he is enforcing in his home. He started raining insults, and my dad warned him that if he spoke one more word of insult, he would rather discipline him, and he kept quiet.”

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“Ah, so he fears something, great. Let’s see if the fear of your dad will get him to behave himself. But Stella, allow me to say this, you are a very beautiful girl, and I believe you have a great future ahead of you.

If your man has made it so clear what he would do to you in future, perhaps it would be a good idea to leave the relationship and get a good education. You already have a good WASSCE certificate, there are university courses for working people, even if you continue the relationship, I suggest that you pursue education as a priority.

I will share some information on university courses with you, and encourage you to follow up.” “Thank God I spoke with you, David, I will take this up very seriously. I have always been interested in the accounting profession. Next time we talk, the story will be much different.”

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2

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An abandoned baby

The root causes: It is never just one reason

My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:

1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency

a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.

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b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.

c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.

2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.

3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”

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4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment. 

5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.

6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.

The invisible wounds

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On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”

On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.

On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.

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A righteousness revolution (Part 1)

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“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; no one seeks God. But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.  This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ, to all who believe. For there is no difference; – Rom. 3:10, 21-22. (NIV)

Introduction

Dictionaries define righteousness as “behavior that is morally justifiable or right.” Such behavior is characterized by accepted standards of morality, justice, virtue, or uprightness. The Bible’s standard of human righteousness is God’s own perfection in every attribute, every attitude, every behavior, and every word. Thus, God’s laws, as given in the Bible, both describe His own character and constitute the plumb line by which He measures human righteousness.

The bad news is that true and perfect righteousness is not possible for man to attain on his own; the standard is simply too high. The good news is that true righteousness is possible for mankind, but only through the cleansing of sin by Jesus Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We have no ability to achieve righteousness in and of ourselves. But Christians possess the righteousness of Christ, because “ For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21. This is an amazing truth. On the cross, Jesus exchanged our sin for His perfect righteousness so that we can one day stand before God and He will see not our sin, but the holy righteousness of the Lord Jesus.

Establishing our hearts in righteousness

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“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” – Proverbs 4:23

According to the above verse in Proverbs, our heart is the source of our life. Our life flows from our heart. The Holy Spirit resides in the spirit of the born again Christian. So there is a strong influence of the Holy Spirit in the heart of the new-born Christian. But our heart is also comprised of our soul. As Christians we can choose to focus our soul on the Lord, or on evil things. If we focus on corrupt, immoral, and evil things our heart will be affected detrimentally. It will cause our heart to be crooked or wicked, instead of straight or righteous. So the Scripture says to keep, or guard, our heart. It is wise to protect our heart as what we allow to dominate our heart will inevitably become the fruit, or influence the outcome, of our lives.

One way to approach life is to continually ask the question, “How will this decision or action affect my heart?” Everything we do, every thought we entertain, everything we watch, read, or listen to, shapes our heart. Therefore, the future prosperity of our life will flow from how well we care for our heart.

Think of everything you do, every moment of time, as a seed. We have been given responsibility for choosing which seeds to plant in our heart. What will you grow in the garden of your heart? What seeds will you choose? Our heart is our garden, and our life is the fruit of our garden. So next time you are tempted to dwell on a bad thought, think, “Do I want this seed to grow and manifest in my life?” Next time you are tempted to indulge in a sinful action ask yourself, “Do I want the extension, or fruit, of this sinful action to be what I am known for?”

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God gives us the freedom to plant whatever we like in our garden. God loves us regardless of the good or bad choices we may make in our lives. You may be reaping the fruit of some poor choices right now. And God is still saying, “I love you.” But He has wise advice for us; He desires we have a good life. He says, “Guard you heart with all diligence.” This Hebrew word translated ‘diligence’ conveys the meanings of: prison and guard (ibid). A superintendant of a prison is very particular as to what goes in and out of his prison. A prison has very tight security. Just as a superintendant watches over his prison, so we should also supervise our heart (our lives). We should exercise meticulous security with regards to what enters into our heart. Actually, even what comes out of it, as the Scripture says, “ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” – James 1:19, as “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” –Matthew 12:34b.

If what goes into, and what comes out of, our heart determines the success of our lives, what is the first important principle to establish in our heart?  “In righteousness you shall be established;” – Isaiah 54:14

Righteousness is the key foundational truth we need to first establish in our heart. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” –Matthew 6:33. Notice Jesus said, “His righteousness”, not our own righteousness. We have to seek and understand God’s righteousness. Isaiah 54:14 says, “Their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.” God’s righteousness comes from God, not from within us. Humans cannot make themselves God’s righteousness, as all humans have sinned and are therefore inferior to God. God’s righteousness is a gift from God: “ For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21

Righteousness, or right standing with God, has been attained for us through the exchange Jesus made on our behalf. Jesus took our sin and gave us His righteousness. God’s righteousness is imparted to us when we are made a new creature in Christ – 2 Corinthians 5:17. This righteousness is a gift from God and undeserved by us: “For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.”- Romans 5:17

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Through our faith in Jesus’ blood, shed to remit our sins – Romans 3:25, God imparts righteousness to us by His grace. We actually become a new righteous creation, fully identifying in Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection and ascension. This is the foundational miracle we need to understand and have established in our heart. All the other miraculous promises of God come the same way, by God’s grace through faith. Righteousness must be established in our heart for us to truly have faith to receive our rich inheritance in Christ. Jesus has been made unto us righteousness (1 Corinthians 1:30). We are now “For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us”. – 2 Corinthians 1:20

Establishing our minds in righteousness

God expects that, when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we will be radically changed. In Romans 12:2 He tells us, And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,

This transformation is to be a metamorphosis, of a magnitude at least comparable to that by which a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. He expects us to become totally different.

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Scripture uses many different images to express the change that should occur:  We become “a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.“ – 2 Cor 5:17. It is almost as if we become a new species. Scripture speaks of the “first Adam” who was earthly and fell into sin, and the “second Adam” (Jesus Christ) who was sinless and holy – Rom. 5:12-19; 1 Cor 15:44-49.

We are “made new in the attitude of our minds” – Eph. 4:23.

We “put off our old self” and “put on the new self” – Eph. 4:22,24; Col 3:9-10.

We “live by the Spirit” and not by the flesh – Gal. 5:16; Rom 8:13.

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We become “instruments of righteousness” rather than “instruments of wickedness” – Rom. 6:13.

Each of these metaphors, in a different way, emphasizes the magnitude of the change that is expected. Each is dramatic and astonishing in itself; their cumulative effect is even more powerful. We are talking about a tremendous transformation. It should be visible to others, but its internal effect should be far greater than what others can perceive.

The goal of this transformation

What is the goal of this metamorphosis? Scripture states it in a number of different ways, which overlap and can be seen as different ways of expressing the same basic concept. Scripture often does this, because our minds are inadequate to comprehend, and our language inadequate to express, the full scope of God’s revelation to us.

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To be continued!

Stay blessed!

For further inquiries please contact us on Tel Nos. 0243588467 or 0268130615

Email:  saltnlightministries@gmail.com

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Website: saltandlightministriesgh.org     

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