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Waakye Girl –Part 1
As usual, David dropped his sister Adwoa at the junction of Africa road, and was rejoining the road for the drive to the office when he saw her dishing out waakye to a customer a few metres away.
What a drop-dead beauty, he told himself the following morning, he stopped to buy some waakye, and greeted her rather nicely.
The waakye was very tasty, so he stopped by the next day, and the next. Her two sisters noticed his interest so after the third day, one of them walked over to his car as he was about to drive off, and gave her some unfriendly advice.
“Sir, my sister has been betrothed to a young man, a graduate like you, so please leave her alone. Maybe you don’t mean any harm, but I just want to let you know, just in case.” “Okay, madam,” David said. “She is certainly very beautiful, and I admired her, but I would never have meant her any harm, still, thanks for advising me. The young man who got her is very lucky.” She walked away, unimpressed with his long talk.
He continued to buy from her for about six months. She was always polite and friendly. Mostly when he bought several packs for his colleagues, she carried them to his car.
He never got over thinking that whoever had won the girl was indeed very fortunate. Perhaps he was well known to the family, or even from the same town.
The fact that her sister had come over to drop a ‘friendly warning’ showed that the connection was very close, and they were not going to allow any nonsense to happen to it.
One day, when her sisters were not available she asked him his name, and he followed it up by giving her his number. “I’m sure you can remember it easily. 0244 244 240. You can just call once in a while to say hello. Please don’t be afraid of me. I don’t mean any harm.” She flashed a bigger smile and assured him that she would call. She said her name was Stella.
One afternoon she called him, sounding a little distraught. “David, please, I need some advice. Can I meet you anywhere near our joint? It can be very early in the morning, say by 6:30 a.m., or in the afternoon at about 3:00 p.m.” “Six thirty in the morning is fine, but I can come over this afternoon, if it’s okay. I can stop at about 50 metres from your joint, in front of the bank.” “Yes, that would be fine. Thank you very much.”
She was waiting, and she joined him in the car. He moved some metres forward, to avoid prying eyes. She thanked him for making time to see him, and went straight to the point.
“David, I have no one to help me that is why I am talking to you. You see, my parents agreed with a young man from our home town that he would marry me. He appeared to like me, but I soon realised that he was more interested in having sex with me than marrying me.
My sisters and parents kept pushing me into the relationship, saying that he is one of the few people from our town who has been to university, so this is one chance to get a good marriage and have children who would have a good future.
Due to their pressure I went into it, even though he had only promised to marry me. It is obvious that he does not love me, and I have realised that he and his friends call me ‘waakye girl’.
He goes out and comes late, and on two occasions when I complained about this he slapped me. I told my people but they are adamant that such problems are normal in every relationship, so I should have patience.
You see, the truth is that I don’t love him, and since he is only interested in a sexual relationship with me, sooner or later he will drop me. I have tried to explain this but my parents just don’t agree.”
“Okay, Stella I see the problem, clearly now, here’s my advice you must never allow him to lay his hands on you, not even if he is married to you. So, next time he tries to assault you, warn him that you will report him to the police.
Maybe he already knows that your parents will not pursue charges against him, so he does not fear that.
In any case, resist him whenever he makes an attempt, or leave the house. Your parents should not allow this. Please, let me know how things develop, things might change.
He may realise how lucky he is to get a girl like you and please, always delete all call records and messages you make to me.”
She called him three weeks later. “David, I’m afraid things have not improved, a few days after we spoke, I went to him when he was preparing for bed, and told him that I had problems with his late hours, with his manner of speaking with me, and with the beatings.
He gave me a very nasty reply, he asked me to go and ask my father if he does not beat my mother when she misbehaves, and reminded me that in our town beating is the accepted means of disciplining your wife.
If I did not want him to beat me, then I should behave myself, and he concluded that many girls from my hometown would be happy to be living with a graduate like him.
The next day, he slapped me because I asked about a girl who had come to the house to ask of him. I went and complained to my parents, and they came to the house. He was drunk, and he was very rude to them.
He asked my father if he never beat his wife, and advised him to take me away if he did not agree to the discipline he is enforcing in his home. He started raining insults, and my dad warned him that if he spoke one more word of insult, he would rather discipline him, and he kept quiet.”
“Ah, so he fears something, great. Let’s see if the fear of your dad will get him to behave himself. But Stella, allow me to say this, you are a very beautiful girl, and I believe you have a great future ahead of you.
If your man has made it so clear what he would do to you in future, perhaps it would be a good idea to leave the relationship and get a good education. You already have a good WASSCE certificate, there are university courses for working people, even if you continue the relationship, I suggest that you pursue education as a priority.
I will share some information on university courses with you, and encourage you to follow up.” “Thank God I spoke with you, David, I will take this up very seriously. I have always been interested in the accounting profession. Next time we talk, the story will be much different.”
THE state of feeling rejected, could be a terrifying experience especially for those who have become used to fame. If not properly addressed, it could lead to depression and the consequences, could be disastrous.
When you are on top of your game in whatever profession you find yourself such that you become famous, a lot of people try to associate with you. The phone never ceases to ring and one is tempted to feel loved and very important.
When a disaster strikes and the fame or the money which was the source of the attraction fades away, the circle of friends and fans begin to shrink and the phone will start to stop ringing until the call stops voting completely.
You will be shocked at how people you considered friends, will no longer be calling you or pay casual visits as they used to. You will begin to notice that messages you leave after calling them and not getting a response are not replied to and that is when you begin to know who your true friends are.
One of the most popular movie stars was an actress called Sharon Stone. In an interview with one of the media houses that was published, she spoke about how people who should have come around to encourage her in her moment of depression, shunned her. The calls stopped coming.
This is what the Bible admonishes that the arm of flesh will fail you and therefore we should put our trust in God. It could be a very frightening experience and can easily lead to depression.
Human nature being what it is, people will want to get close if things are okay. Everybody wants to associate themselves with interesting things, famous people, rich people etc for mainly selfish reasons.
We need to develop the habit of putting our trust in God and relying less on human beings. The lesson we have to take along in life is that, no one marries his or her enemy so how come people who took vows that they will love each other become so hostile to each other that they want to go their separate ways in life? Such is the reality of life.
It is therefore prudent for people to recognise that, life is full of uncertainties and so there is the need to prepare your mind for uncertainties so that when they occur, they do not disorganise your mental sanity.
A lot of people have experienced situations where people who they could have sworn will never betray their trust have disappointed them when they were through challenging moments.
If there is one thing famous people should desire, it should be the ability to identify who are true friends are. Countless stories abound regarding incidence of celebrities who have lost their shine and their wives divorcing them soon after.
It is sometimes useful as a famous or rich person to sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage to safeguard or protect yourself from any future unpleasant surprises.
People can be very pretentious these days, it goes both ways. There is this real life story where a man married a divorced wealthy woman and convinced her to sell her house so they could build a new one together, with the excuse that people are gossiping that he is being housed by a woman.
The woman agreed and they put up a new building. After a few years the man asked for a divorce, only for the woman to realise that the land on which the building was situated, was bought in the man’s name.
This can drive a person insane, if you are not mentally tough and this happens to you. When people hear that you are homeless, a lot of your so-called friends will stop calling, so that you do not become a burden on them.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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‘But, er …. I don’t even know your name’.
‘Paul. Paul Allotey. I’m Sarah, by the way. Paul, why don’t you leave me here, since this is the last important thing I’m doing today’.
‘Okay. Now Sarah. I was just thinking. You will be here at the cafe for about an hour. By then it will be about twelve thirty. Then, you would be thinking of buying yourself some lunch, to eat here or to take home. So if you would please allow me, I will take you to one of the nicest eating places in town, and after you have sorted that one out, then I can drop you home. Just that one errand, then I won’t bother you again’.
‘You are not bothering me at all. You are being very kind to me. And I just realised you are a mind reader too. The last item on my agenda was lunch’.
‘I’m so glad I appeared at your doorstep, just in time’.
‘Okay. Now Paul, since you say the cafe is a comfortable place, let’s go in together, and you can do your work while I get my application done’.
‘Okay, Sarah. Thanks. Let’s go’.
We got back in the car at eleven forty-five.
‘So where are we going, Paul?’
‘To Royalty restaurant. It’s a twenty minute drive away’.
‘So, do you enjoy your job?’
‘Most certainly. I won’t change it, not even to be President. And am I right to say that you are preparing to enter the university?’
‘That’s my plan. I hope it works’.
‘It will, if you are determined, and disciplined. You look very much like a disciplined person’.
‘Thank you very much’.
We arrived at Royalty in twenty-five minutes, ‘You are joining me for lunch, Paul’.
‘Thanks for the honour, Sarah. But the bill is on me’.
‘Aren’t you taking on too much for one day?’
‘I never do anything that is bigger than me, Sarah’.
Over the next hour and a half, we discussed fashion, local and international politics, and sports, as we ate and relaxed. Finally, he drove me to the shop.
‘I will never forget you, Paul’.
‘I’m glad to have been helpful. But if you don’t mind, I’ll say it again, your husband is extremely lucky. You are really beautiful’.
‘Thanks again. But do you mind if I call you sometime in the future?’
‘Certainly not. Let me write it here. I will not ask for your number, for obvious reasons. But I will be looking forward to hearing from you. And hopefully, I will see you next month, when I call to drop your bill’.
‘Okay Paul. See you then’. What a lovely day, I said to myself as I opened the front door. I closed the shop and got home by seven. I went straight to the bedroom, stood in the mirror and took a good look at myself. ‘You are a very beautiful woman, Sarah. Never forget that’. I will not forget that, again.
Over the next several weeks, Martin and I had very little to do with each other. In the morning he ate his breakfast and after a shabby ‘I’m going’, he left. He came home around eight at the earliest, ate his dinner and, already soaked in beer, went off to sleep.
He spent the greater part of the weekends at the club house with his friends, playing tennis and partying. My mind was focused on furthering my education, so I didn’t complain to him, and didn’t bother to inform my parents about what was happening. I had decided that I would only take action if he lifted his hand against me again. I spent my free time reading all manner of interesting stuff on the internet, and chatting with my sister on WhatsApp.
One evening, he came home at about eight, rushed to the bedroom and rushed out. An envelope, obviously containing money, dropped out of his pocket, and I picked it up and followed him. I was going to call him and give it to him, but I noticed that there was a young woman in the car, so I went back in, counted it and put it in a drawer in the hall. He came back after some ten minutes.
‘Excuse me, I dropped an envelope containing money. You must have seen it’.
‘Yes, I saw it. Actually, I followed you, and was about to call you and hand it over to you when I realised that there was a woman in the car, so I came back in. I counted it. One thousand cedis.
‘Well let me have it. I have to be going’.
‘I will let you have it if you will tell me who the woman in the car is, and why you are going to give her that amount of money’.
‘Listen, if you waste my time, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Give me the money now!’
‘Here’s what we will do, Martin. I know you will give money to her anyway, so I will give it to you, if you will withdraw the threat you just issued. But I want you to know that I will be taking some steps from tomorrow. Things are getting out of hand’.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I threatened you. Can you please give me the money’. I handed it over to him, and he ran out’.
The following morning, I waited for him to finish having breakfast, and told him I wanted to have a word with him urgently.
‘You better be quick. You know I’m going to work’.
‘Well, I want to inform you that I will inform my parents, and your parents, about the situation in this house. As I said yesterday, things are getting out of hand. You spend most of your time drinking. You get drunk every evening, and through the weekend. And you are also spending your time and money on a prostitute’.
‘How dare you? One more stupid word from you …’
‘Am I lying, Martin? You have just started life, yet you are behaving like a rich, elderly man who has already seen his children through university, and can afford a life of fun. As I said, I’m going to inform our parents. Maybe your parents can straighten you out before it is too late’.
‘Look, we can talk this evening. It’s nothing like what you are saying’. He walked away, shocked.
That evening, I was expecting to have a meaningful discussion with him, but his mother called early in the evening to offer me some ‘advice’. Her son had called to say that certain developments at home were disturbing him so much that they were beginning to affect his work.
And, ‘as a loving mother to her daughter’, she was advising me to submit to my husband, and support him in prayer, and not ‘drive him from home’. Men would always be men, and she was telling me ‘from experience’ that no matter how much time Martin stayed away from home, he would always come home to me.
She had been a young wife before, so she understood the challenges I was facing. So I could be assured that if I followed her advice, all would be well. And, of course, she didn’t allow me to tell my side of the story.
Martin came home very late, and very drunk. And from the next morning, he carried on as before. With some hesitation, I called my dad and told him all that had gone on.
‘Well, my daughter. I’m not going to say “I told you so”. I was only trying to protect you. So here’s what we’ll do. Continue doing the best you can, and try not to give him any excuse to harm you, but if things continue to deteriorate, I will take you back.
A couple of days later, my cousin Dinah arrived in Accra from Brussels, having completed her medical course. With Martin’s agreement, I went to Koforidua and spent a couple of days. I spent most of the time chatting about her experiences in the US, but we also discussed my relationship with Martin, and she endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if Martin’s behaviour did not change after two weeks Elaine informed Mom and Dad. We endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if there was no change in two weeks.
Dinah returned with me to Takoradi. Her plan was to spend a couple of weeks, and return to Accra to be posted. I called Paul Allotey, and asked if he would meet her for lunch and, if possible, show her some interesting spots. Delighted, he suggested that we meet at Royalty the next day.
I told Martin about it, to remove any possibility of future disagreement over ‘going out with men’.
‘It’s fine with me’, he said, ‘if, of all the people who could show your sister round this town, you chose a borla man. Doesn’t that indicate the kind of person you are?’
‘ First of all, Martin’, I’ve spoken to him a few times, and he comes across as a decent guy, so I think it is rather unfortunate that you are writing him off when you don’t know him’.
By Ekow de Heer
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