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The tragedy of battered husbands
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Women are standing the men toe-to-toe
It is revealing that men are now going to WAJU to report their wives for all sorts of marital transgressions including ball-grabbing. The problem is that when a man fights his wife, he risks damage to his most prized earthly possession – a set of balls.
In days gone by, women were scratching their husbands’ faces. Now, they have grown wiser. They are standing the men toe-to-toe, and when the going gets tough, they grab balls and do all kinds of things to it.
Some men have virtually been emasculated because in a single year they have suffered all kinds of illicit manipulation of their testicles, including pulling, dragging and anything short of toasting. So, that organ of the body has become so violated and it seems only WAJU can save them from further torment.
Now, WAJU is for women and juveniles as the name suggests-Women and Juvenile Unit. It is time men became part of the show, because whenever they report their wives, they are not turned away. They are rather welcomed with open arms and encouraged to tell their stories. Some are interesting:
“I didn’t know my wife was a champion boxer till I reduced the chop money because I was broke. She beat me pasaaa! When I regained my composure and also wanted to dish it to her, she dashed for my-eh- I mean my thing. Oh Jesus Christ! Now, the thing can’t stand up,” a man would narrate to the sympathetic ear.
It is easy for WAJU to sympathise with such a complainant, but going beyond sympathy to ascertain the veracity of the complaint by examining the man’s thing can be problematic. Assuming the nice WAJU lady started examining the man intimately and his thing decided to wake up?
Generally, when a man approaches WAJU to tell his story, it means he has had enough of battering and might end up being castrated.
The fact is that marital castration is becoming one popular means being employed by jealous women to keep their men sober for life.
In Kenya, a recent case is worth reproducing: A 30-year- old Kenyan man with two wives got greedy and cheated on them both, but his fun was cut short when his furious mates found out, chopped off his wee- wee and tossed it away.
When the wives got wind that their skirt-chasing hubby was triple-timing them, they tracked him down to a house in the town of Kilogiris where he was frolicking with a pretty young female companion, the BBC reports.
First, the knife wielding duo vented their fury on his terrified stark-naked girlfriend, attacking her and chopping off one of her ears. Then as the cheating husband tried to run for it, the scorned females cornered him, held him down and gave him the Lorena Bobbit treatment.
The victim was rushed to hospital where he is reportedly in fair condition, though efforts to track down his missing manhood were unsuccessful.
Kenyan police are now hunting the two man-maiming harpies, who took off after taking their revenge, according to BBC reporter Muchiri Kioj in Kilogiris.
If it has happened in Kenya, then it can happen in Ghana. Even in South Africa where rape has almost become a national pastime, it came to a time when some women decided to adopt forcible castration of rapists.
It meant taking the law into their own hands, but they felt the criminal justice system was itself too impotent to deal with the situation.
So in some communities, you can rape alright, but when you get caught, the consequences for you can be tragic.
And I hear castrated men are just as funky as any castrated pig. All they think about is food. As for romance, it is well beyond their capacity and even their imagination.
Now in Ghana, most women are fighting for the passage of the Domestic Violence Bill. They have come up with an idea called marital rape, suggesting that if you pressurise your wife into having sex, to you might as well be heading for Nsawam for a five-year cool-off.
I don’t know where women got that idea from. I guess when they went to Beijing in the 1990s, they had many fantasies and many ideas created to tame the male libido. So a wife can unilaterally declare when she would have sex and plan a time-table copied to her husband.
The husband has no choice but to start nodding like an agama lizard. “Can you please shift the Tuesday event to Monday and Friday to Saturday?” he may plead. “On Saturdays I’m double horny.”
Which marriage on earth can subsist on sex prescriptions and time-tables? Some women see the danger and have called on the authorities to forget the Domestic Violence Bill altogether. They know when the Bill is passed into law that is the end of their marriages.
Now if the Bill should be passed, then it must provide for what is known as Contract Marriages. You can marry for one year on contract and renew it for another year when both parties agree on it.
Man and wife can marry in 2005 take a two-year break and re-enter the contract in 2007 depending on their mood. There will be no need for divorce if the couples decide not to renew a contract. The man goes left and the wife goes right. No court case.
The world is gradually pushing towards a global society where cherished institutions like marriage can no longer perpetuate because they have been tempered with man-made laws as against the law of The BIBLE.
There is a culture that permeates all aspects of leadership in the advanced countries which I believe has contributed to the success in all aspects of their national lives. Citizens strive to excel so that they will not find themselves in a situation where they would have failed, to necessitate a decision to resign.
Countries where failure is frowned upon, it pushes the citizens to strive for success. In our part of the world, failure and mediocrity has become an accepted norm and therefore, there is no shame in failing in a particular position of leadership.
A head of an organisation mismanages the place and he does not see the need for him to resign. The appointing authority does not also see the need to sack him and so the merry go round continues.
It becomes friends and family as usual and if care is not taken, the rest of the world will leave us far, far behind.
The practice of resignation in parts of the world for failure in some parts of the world has to be institutionalised in our country too. It encourages the principle of accountability which is good for any organisation, sector of an economy or a country.
It promotes good governance, a necessary ingredient in the growth of the economy of any country.
When this practice becomes a culture, every individual, privileged to hold a position of trust, gives his or her full attention to the job assigned him or her, to ensure that objectives are achieved.
This trickles down to every individual down the chain of command and there are no rooms for errors.
That is how efficient systems are built over time and this is the difference between advanced nations and third world countries.
Where systems are designed such that people take responsibility for things that go wrong under their supervision or ultimate responsibility, there is evidence of development.
There are a few people that I admire in Ghana as far as this culture of resignation based on principled stance. One of them is the late Mrs Emma Mitchell. She was a cabinet member but chose to resign after the confrontation between late President Jerry Rawlings and late Vice President Kow Akaah.
She was not prepared to be part of a cabinet which was lying to the general public that Rawlings did not assault Akaah.
She was of the conviction that telling the truth is more honourable than telling lies and that if she was bound by confidentiality oaths to tell a lie, then she would resign and she did exactly that.
That is how we build a culture of truth and accountability. We have people in positions who have not lived up to expectation but are still holding on to their positions not prepared to let go of it.
This is a clear case of display of selfishness, trying to be a Boss instead of a Servant to serve the people, which leadership is all about.
The ineffectiveness of some leaders, often result in waste of resources which could have been channeled to other sectors of the economy which could have been more productive. A culture of voluntary resignation must be advocated for by all stakeholders, especially the CSOs, traditional leaders and the clergy.
This is the only way the needed growth in every sector of our national life would manifest.
Presidents, Prime Ministers, heads of reputable organisations have voluntarily resigned by taking ultimate responsibility and it is about time, we started seeing it manifest in our country.
The people in charge of our sports especially our soccer, can initiate this long desired culture and resign in view of the embarrassment witnessed from the defeat of the Black Stars by Gambia. God bless.
BY LAUD KISS-MENSAH
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THE QUR’AN FORBIDS RELIGIOUS PROVOCATION
There is a remarkable verse in the Qur’an which every Muslim preacher should memorise.
Allah says:
“And do not insult those they invoke besides Allah, lest they insult Allah in hostility without knowledge.” (Qur’an 6:108).
Think about this carefully.
Allah knows that the unbelievers worship false gods.
Yet Allah tells Muslims: Do not insult their objects of worship.
Why?
Because your speech may provoke an even greater offence.
This establishes a profound principle:
A Muslim must not fight religious provocation with religious provocation.
If someone insults what we hold sacred, we do not respond by insulting what they hold sacred.
If someone attacks Islam, we defend Islam with knowledge.
If someone misrepresents Muhammad (pbuh), we explain who is Muhammad to him.
If someone lies about Islam, we answer with truth and knowledge.
We do not allow another person’s bad behaviour to dictate our own morality.
LOOK AT MUHAMMAD (PBUH) — HE WAS INSULTED BEFORE WE WERE
Servant of Allah,
Sometimes we speak as though the Prophet (pbuh) lived in a world where everyone respected him.
No.
He was mocked and insulted. Quran 37:36, Quran 15:6
He was called a liar, magician, and a mad man. Quran 51:52, Quran 17:47
He was ridiculed. Quran 6:10
His followers were tortured, and some were killed. Quran 85:8-10
He himself was persecuted, leading to his migration to Madina.
Yet he remained the Messenger of Allah.
Allah said:
“Indeed, we know that your heart is distressed by what they say.” (Qur’an 15:97)
Allah acknowledged the Prophet’s pain.
Islam does not say that insults do not hurt. They hurt.
But the question is: What do you do with the pain?
THE DAY OF TA’IF: WHEN THE PROPHET (PBUH) COULD HAVE CHOSEN
REVENGE
One of the most powerful examples is the journey of the Prophet (pbuh) to Ta’if.
He went seeking support for his message.
Instead, the people rejected him and incited their children and others against him.
He was chased.
He was insulted.
He was struck with stones until his feet bled.
He was physically and emotionally exhausted.
Then the Angel of the Mountains came to him.
The two angels offered to crush the people of Ta’if between the mountains.
The Prophet (pbuh) could have said: “Do it.”
But he did not.
Instead, he hoped that Allah would bring from their descendants people who would worship Him.
This account is recorded in the authentic hadith literature, including Sahih Muslim (Muslim, 1795).
What a lesson!
The Prophet (pbuh) had suffered injustice.
But he did not turn his pain into indiscriminate revenge.
He saw beyond the offender.
He saw the possibility of tomorrow.
And this is one of the greatest characteristics of prophetic leadership:
The Prophet (pbuh) did not merely ask, “What punishment does this person deserve?”
He also asked, in effect: “What can this person become?”
THE PROPHET IN MADINAH: LEADER OF A DIVERSE SOCIETY
When Muhammad (pbuh) migrated to Madinah, he did not enter an empty city.
Madinah contained different communities, including Muslims and Jews, and there were also Christians who interacted with the Muslim community.
The Prophet became the political and communal leader of Madinah.
The Sahifah (A Covenant) of Madinah, preserved in the early sīrah (Prophet’s biography) tradition, established arrangements concerning mutual obligations, security, justice and relations among the communities of the city.
This is important:
The Prophet did not build Madinah by teaching Muslims to hate everyone who was not Muslim.
He built a society governed by covenant, responsibility and justice.
Allah says:
“Allah does not forbid you from being kind and just to those who have neither fought you because of your religion nor driven you from your homes. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly.” (Qur’an 60:8)
This is not weakness.
This is Islam.
THE PROPHET DEALT WITH JEWS IN MADINAH
‘A’ishah (Wife of the Prophet) narrated that the Prophet (pbuh) bought food from a Jewish man on credit and gave him his iron armour as collateral.
“The Prophet purchased food from a Jew on credit and mortgaged his iron armour to him.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 2068)
Think about it.
This was Muhammad.
The Messenger of Allah.
Yet he conducted lawful commercial dealings with a Jewish citizen.
He did not say: “He is not a Muslim, therefore I cannot deal with him.”
No.
Islam gave him a relationship governed by justice and trust.
Jabir رضيهللاعنه narrated:
“A funeral procession passed before us and the Prophet (pbuh) stood up, and we stood with him. We said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, it is the funeral of a Jew.’ He said: ‘When you see a funeral procession, stand.’” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 1311)
Another narration records his response: “Is it not a soul?” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 1312–1313)
What kind of heart did Muhammad (pbuh) possess?
A heart that recognised human dignity even in death.
THE PROPHET AND THE CHRISTIANS OF NAJRAN
The Prophet also received the Christian delegation of Najran.
They disagreed with him theologically.
Yet when they requested a trustworthy person, he did not choose someone because of hatred.
He selected Abu ‘Ubaydah ibn al-Jarrah.
The Prophet said:
“I shall send with you a man who is truly trustworthy.”
He then appointed Abu ‘Ubaydah.
This is authentically reported in Sahih al-Bukhari 4380–4381.
Notice something profound:
The Prophet could disagree with people without becoming dishonest toward them.
That is the standard we need today.
The author is the chief Imam of Katamanso Municipal and Certified Counsellor and Governance Expert.
