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Stop worrying and take control
Nobody’s life is worry-free, but that doesn’t mean our worries need to ruin our lives. Learning how to manage our worries can make all the difference in our well-being. This is what a busy young father learned. He had a challenging career and was feeling overwhelmed with his many responsibilities.
He would come home from work every night feeling anxious and even physically ill. He found it very difficult to sleep at night. He went to his physician for help; he prayed and pondered about what to do. The man soon realised that he needed to stop worrying so much. But how would he do that?
In time, he was inspired with a simple idea: he got two baskets; one he labelled “worry” and the other “concern.” Then he organised all his challenges and responsibilities into one of the two baskets, even if only mentally. The things he could do nothing about went in the worry basket, and those he had some ability to resolve went in the concern basket.
In this way, he could focus his attention on concerned issues over which he had some power. He could prioritise these issues and do his best to resolve as many of them as possible, without wasting time on worries that were outside his control.
Of course, just putting something in the worry basket didn’t make it go away, but he did find that, if he was patient, solutions emerged very often with divine help or even just the passage of time.
The anxiety didn’t vanish all at once, but whenever he felt it stirring inside him, he stopped what he was doing, prayed for support, and said to himself, “I am not going to do something else until I begin to control my emotions.” Over time, as he learned to put worry in its proper place, his health and well-being improved, and what was once a weakness in his life became one of his strengths.
Worry can be disheartening, leading us to feel overwhelmed or powerless. But when we put our worries in their proper place whether in a basket or simply out of our minds, we can take purposeful action, be resourceful, and tackle the problems within our control. Eventually, instead of being filled with worry, our lives will be filled with patience, perspective, and peace.
Sometimes in our lives we all feel as if the world is spinning out of control and we worry about unnecessary things. Hearing about tragedies and perils near and far can cause us to worry about how things will turn out.
While there is solace in accepting things we cannot control, we also need to feel that there are some things we can control, that will determine, at least to some degree, the direction of our lives.
An unknown author wrote: “The greatest battle of life is fought out within the silent chambers of the soul. A victory on the inside of a person’s heart is worth a hundred conquests on the battlefields of life. To be master of yourself is the best guarantee that you will be master of the situation. Know thyself. The crown of character is self-control.”
In the end, self-control is the only real control in life. Efforts to control others or even to control our circumstances usually don’t succeed. But we can become the master of our self. We begin by controlling our thoughts, then our words, and ultimately our actions.
We gain more self-control when we daily strive to choose goodness and kindheartedness, to be honest and trustworthy, to care for our mind, body, and soul. Our self-control deepens as we set worthy goals and achieve them, as we make promises and keep them, and as we simply do our best to live with integrity.
This striving for self-control is rightly called a “battle,” for we all have tendencies we must fight to overcome. But those tendencies don’t represent our real selves. As we begin to take control of our lives, we come to understand who we truly are.
We find that our true identity has less to do with the mistakes we’ve made in the past and more to do with our potential for future growth. We aren’t defined so much by where we’ve been as by where we are going.
There are many battles that need fighting in this world, many wrongs to be righted, many changes to be made. But to win any of them, we must first win the greatest battle of life, the battle most worth fighting: the battle for self-control.
By Samuel Enos Eghan
On Sunday, October 11, 2026, it was the turn of Ghanaian Catholics in Finland to lead the singing in the church service of the African Catholic Chaplaincy in Finland (ACCF).
It was indeed a spirit-filled feeling for worshippers present. And for the Ghanaian migrants, the occasion also brought back to them memories of church services in their home country, Ghana.
The ACCF has a roster for each country/community to sing from time to time. Next Sunday will be the turn of the Nigerian community. Other communities that usually sing are the Kenyan/Tanzanian community, the Cameroonian, the Ugandan, group, etc.
A powerful religious experience
The mass services of the Chaplaincy usually give a powerful religious experience and a display of cultural diversity, especially in occasions such as when the Bishop of Helsinki, Bishop Raimo Goyarrola, celebrated mass with the Chaplaincy on Pentecost Day, May 24, 2026.
There was a similar time of spiritual joy last month (September 27, 2026) when Emeritus Bishop Teemu Sippo, former Bishop of Helsinki, visited the Chaplaincy. Bishop Teemu was the main celebrant, assisted by the Chaplain, Reverend Father Thomas Otieno.
Last Sunday, Reverend Father Bernard Sor, a Ghanaian Catholic priest based in Austria, was the main celebrant in the mass service where he performed a rite of baptism. Fr Bernard had celebrated mass a few months ago when he visited his sister and her husband in Helsinki. 
All these well-attended religious occasions indeed leave lasting memories. The homilies (peaching) by the priests usually emphasize religious tenets such as the importance of loving and serving God in truth, existing in peace with our fellow humans to promote unity in diversity, etc.
Unity in diversity and a colourful display of cultures
The African Chaplaincy church services usually produce impressive displays of diverse cultures from different parts of Africa and elsewhere. The events are often spiced by rich cultural displays of dances and colourful attires which are a delight to watch.
On special occasions, members of the Ghanaian Catholic community, in their gay and colourful kente attire and with adowa dance and music, usually lead the procession into the church. Other communities such as the Cameroonian, Nigerian, Kenyan and Tanzanian as well as Sudanese/South Sudanese groups also put up well-choreographed performances from their cultures.
The African Catholic Chaplaincy in Finland
The African Chaplaincy was founded on June 4, 2017, which was a Pentecost Sunday, in a Pontifical High Mass celebrated by Monsignor Emeritus Sippo S.C.I., the then Bishop of Helsinki, at the St. Mary’s Catholic Parish Church in Helsinki.
The Chaplaincy was created by Bishop Teemu in collaboration with the Diocesan body when they detected a great flocking of African immigrants to Finland, the majority of whom were Catholics. This was to give the immigrants a possibility to integrate into the Finnish society by worshiping as Catholics and in their African cultural identity.
The responsibility of the Chaplaincy was given by Bishop Teemu to Father Dr Leonard Wobilla Shwei, who is thus the first Chaplain and ably led the Chaplaincy. He was succeeded a few years ago by Father Thomas Otieno, who continues to move the Chaplaincy forward. Thank you!
GHANA MATTERS column appears fortnightly. Written in simple, layman’s terms, it concentrates on matters about Ghana and beyond. It focuses on everyday life issues relating to the social, cultural, economic, religious, political, health, sports, youth, gender, etc. It strives to remind us all that Ghana comes first. The column also takes a candid look at the meanings and repercussions of our actions, especially those things we take for granted or even ignore. There are key Ghanaian values we should uphold rather than disregard with impunity. We should not overlook the obvious. We need to search for the hidden or deeply embedded values and try to project them.
With Dr Perpetual Crentsil
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She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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