Relationship
Six ways to start the New Year with your spouse
The New Year is here. It is a time of year when individuals, couples, and families take time to look back at the year that just passed, and look forward to the coming months.
Here are six ways the couples can start the New Year together.
1. Recap this past year.
Knowing what you want out of the New Year becomes clearer when you recap the year that has passed. Talk about this past year together, focusing on all notable elements of the year.
What amazing things would you like to remember, and repeat, if possible? What did not work out? What do you want to leave behind, and what do you want to bring with you into the New Year?
2. Talk about the coming New Year
What are you anticipating about this New Year? Talk about it together. Share what you hope to learn this year, and what you hope to accomplish.
What are you both looking forward to, as individuals? What are you looking forward to as a couple? In what areas can you work together, and in what areas can you provide support and cheer each other on?
3. Share your dreams with one another
Dreaming is healthy. It brings us hope and happiness, and helps us believe that anything is possible. Fuel that positivity and optimism as you enter the New Year together. Do you have big dreams for the New Year? Share them with one another so you can be each other’s biggest cheerleader.
4. Set tangible and actionable goals
Setting New Year’s goals that are both tangible and actionable will help you each start taking steps to making the changes you want to make in your life. Whether you’re looking to break an old habit, create a new one, or accomplish something big this year, create goals–even smaller goals–that will carry you where you want to go. Then, share these goals with one another so you can help each other stay on track.
5. Let go of last year’s pain
It is not beneficial to hold onto pain from the past year. Where possible, let go of painful memories and hard feelings as you move into the New Year. Carrying pain with you will only drag you down and keep you from creating the year you’re dreaming of.
That said, there are some circumstances and situations that are not easy to leave behind. If you’re struggling with grief or circumstances beyond your control, it may be beneficial to seek professional counseling in order to get the support you need to thrive in the New Year.
6. Reprioritise for the New Year
Reflect together on your priorities from the past year. What did they look like? Do you want to keep your priorities the same, or do they need to shift in the New Year? Now is the best time to revisit your priorities and make adjustments where needed. If you and your spouse can do that together, even better.
Start the New Year off on the right foot.
A good relationship with your boss is critical for job success and career development. Supervisors have a great influence on your stress level, your team and company culture, and ultimately, whether you succeed or fail in a role.
They are also your best resource for support, problem-solving, and personal development. Building a strong relationship with them can be transformative for your work experience and professional growth, but navigating this connection can be complex.
Here are the remainder of some key values and characteristics that will help you along the way.
Be an excellent communicator
Establishing clear communication with a manager is absolutely critical to learning to work together. Everyone has preferred methods, styles, and frequency of communication, and it will benefit you to learn your boss’s preferences. Some people want minimal, direct communication, while others prefer detailed and frequent updates about projects. By catering to your supervisor’s unique communication style, you demonstrate thoughtful awareness and respect.
Additionally, be sure to clearly communicate difficulties before they pile up. Avoid unwanted surprises by giving your boss a heads-up about mistakes and confusion. Challenges and errors are a natural part of working on any team, so don’t feel the need to hide from that reality. Good communication around negative experiences will go a long way toward building trust.
Ask for advice and feedback
Your boss is your best resource. Be sure to understand what issues are worth getting their input on, to avoid running to them with every pain point every day. Asking for their opinion shows you value their expertise and goes a long way to developing a cooperative approach to strategy, process, and decision-making.
Asking for feedback is equally valuable. Many people are intimidated to ask for feedback, but also frustrated by a lack of attention and acknowledgment. Requesting feedback shows initiative and an interest in improving your performance.
Lastly, consider asking for coaching or mentorship. Managers are in a prime position to support your career development and are often enthusiastic about contributing in this way.
Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary — a place where two people feel safe, seen, and supported. But what happens when the person who promised “forever” slowly becomes the source of your deepest emotional wounds?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I sit with men who whisper, “I feel invisible in my own home,” or “I’m constantly blamed for things I didn’t do.” Often, these men are not describing a “difficult wife.” They are describing years of living with narcissistic patterns — patterns that don’t bruise the skin, but shatter the soul.
Let me be clear: Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy. Pride is human. But narcissistic personality traits become destructive when they are consistent, rigid, and designed to control, manipulate, or diminish the other partner. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse from narcissistic partners can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even trauma symptoms similar to PTSD.
This article is not about demonising women. It is about naming pain so healing can begin. If you see yourself in these 7 red flags, know this: You are not weak, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.
