Relationship
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your health span
Friends sharing their challenges
“Me nyare n’anso me nti ap)” this is a popular akan saying that can be translated into English as “I am not ill, yet I feel unwell.” It’s that feeling when you just can’t place a finger on what is not right with you.
Today, I can confidently inform you that if you have felt this way in the past, you certainly had a point. Medical science has come a long way and we know that health and wellness go far beyond what we are used to; pains, heart disease, infections etc. that form physical health/wellness.
Other equally important aspects of wellness exist, and these may be classified as social, mental, spiritual, financial and digital health and wellness.
Do not be surprised when your doctor begins to ask you questions about your social network such as those you have close ties with i.e., family or friends or both. Longevity depends on a large extend on one’s social support system or network.
This is how the American Heart Association puts it “lack of SOCIAL CONNECTION is associated with increased risk of premature death from all causes, especially among men.”
This is no open ticket to spend all of one’s after work hours hanging out with friends under the disguise that you are prolonging your life or reducing your risk of premature death. Moderation is key in all things and your strong social ties need not be a whole village, all you need is a handful of loyal friends or family who know you inside out and have your wellbeing at heart.
If you are stressed out or have any mental health challenges, you should be able to speak to a close friend and sharing your challenge may just be enough or this friend may be able to advice you appropriately.
It is easy to laugh with such friends and not be worried about being judged and laughter as you know is MEDICINE. Close contacts may prompt you to take your physical health seriously but even if they don’t, that bond you share, the sense of belonging causes the body to produce feel good hormones that protect you and prolong your health span.
I prefer health span to lifespan simply because lifespan refers to just being alive but one may not be “living” as you may be bedridden, in a coma, have multiple organ challenges etc. We should all aim at a long health span.
The art of building strong social connections is one reason we need to work on getting our children away from their phones and other gadgets that deprive them of the opportunity to talk to their peers, share physical contact and form lifelong relationships.
Dear friend, choose your friends wisely if you want to live a long, healthy and happy life.
While you work on your social connections, let’s breathe our way to great health by following the steps below and repeat these steps daily;
1. Sit in a quiet place.
2. Avoid tight clothing (so loosen your belt, neck tie or other constricting clothing).
3. Take in deep breaths through your nostril and exhale slowly through partially closed lips.
a. At the peak of your initial inhale, take in another breath and hold for a count of 4 before exhaling.
4. Expand your belly as you breathe in.
5. Focus on your breathing and forget about everything else.
6. When your focus drifts off (and it will about 50 per cent of the time), acknowledge the thought but quickly return to your breathing.
7. Continue breathing in and exhaling for 5 minutes.
8. Increase the duration of this breathing/mindfulness over time.
…and remember to teach your friends to breathe too, after all together you will live a long healthy and enjoyable life.
AS ALWAYS LAUGH OFTEN, ENSURE HYGIENE, WALK AND PRAY EVERYDAY AND REMEMBER IT’S A PRICELESS GIFT TO KNOW YOUR NUMBERS (blood sugar, blood pressure, blood cholesterol, BMI).
Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
Health Essentials Ltd (HE&W Group)
(dressel@healthessentialsgh. com)
*Dr Essel is a Medical Doctor with a keen interest in Lifestyle Medicine, He holds an MBA and is an ISSA Specialist in Exercise Therapy, Fitness Nutrition and Corrective Exercise. He is the author of the award-winning book, ‘Unravelling the Essentials of Health & Wealth.’
Thought for the week (1) – “Lack of sleep may predispose you to many diseases including a STROKE. Jump into bed an hour earlier and sleep a stroke away. You cannot be healthy during WAR or VIOLENCE, let’s all pray and work towards PEACE in our WORLD”
Thought for the week (2) – “There is no magic formula to being happy but making a conscious effort to be happy goes a long way.” – Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
By Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
The Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
- Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).
Order the book now:
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https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES
CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING
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