Relationship
Tips to improve family relationships
There is nothing like family. The people that are related by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, greatest sources of love and support.
Too often, however, interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering.
Here are some tips to help bring family members closer
Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else. The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise. Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together.
1. Listen if you expect to be heard. Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”
2. Teach emotional choice. Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviours. Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel.
3. Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving. Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others.
4. Take responsibility for what you communicate silently. The very young and old are especially sensitive to nonverbal cues. More than our words, tone of voice, posture (body language), and facial expressions convey our feelings. We have to listen to our tone of voice and look at ourselves in pictures and in the mirror to assess our emotional congruency. Loving words coming through clenched teeth don’t feel loving—they feel confusing.
5. Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones. Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
6. Make a lasting impression through actions. Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Be an example, not a nag.
7. Acknowledge your errors to everyone, including younger family members. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Apologising proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others.
8. Discover what each person’s unique needs are. You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. When in doubt, ask!
9. Be generous in expressing love. Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most.
A good relationship with your boss is critical for job success and career development. Supervisors have a great influence on your stress level, your team and company culture, and ultimately, whether you succeed or fail in a role.
They are also your best resource for support, problem-solving, and personal development. Building a strong relationship with them can be transformative for your work experience and professional growth, but navigating this connection can be complex.
Here are the remainder of some key values and characteristics that will help you along the way.
Be an excellent communicator
Establishing clear communication with a manager is absolutely critical to learning to work together. Everyone has preferred methods, styles, and frequency of communication, and it will benefit you to learn your boss’s preferences. Some people want minimal, direct communication, while others prefer detailed and frequent updates about projects. By catering to your supervisor’s unique communication style, you demonstrate thoughtful awareness and respect.
Additionally, be sure to clearly communicate difficulties before they pile up. Avoid unwanted surprises by giving your boss a heads-up about mistakes and confusion. Challenges and errors are a natural part of working on any team, so don’t feel the need to hide from that reality. Good communication around negative experiences will go a long way toward building trust.
Ask for advice and feedback
Your boss is your best resource. Be sure to understand what issues are worth getting their input on, to avoid running to them with every pain point every day. Asking for their opinion shows you value their expertise and goes a long way to developing a cooperative approach to strategy, process, and decision-making.
Asking for feedback is equally valuable. Many people are intimidated to ask for feedback, but also frustrated by a lack of attention and acknowledgment. Requesting feedback shows initiative and an interest in improving your performance.
Lastly, consider asking for coaching or mentorship. Managers are in a prime position to support your career development and are often enthusiastic about contributing in this way.
Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary — a place where two people feel safe, seen, and supported. But what happens when the person who promised “forever” slowly becomes the source of your deepest emotional wounds?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I sit with men who whisper, “I feel invisible in my own home,” or “I’m constantly blamed for things I didn’t do.” Often, these men are not describing a “difficult wife.” They are describing years of living with narcissistic patterns — patterns that don’t bruise the skin, but shatter the soul.
Let me be clear: Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy. Pride is human. But narcissistic personality traits become destructive when they are consistent, rigid, and designed to control, manipulate, or diminish the other partner. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse from narcissistic partners can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even trauma symptoms similar to PTSD.
This article is not about demonising women. It is about naming pain so healing can begin. If you see yourself in these 7 red flags, know this: You are not weak, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.
