Obaa Yaa
My baby daddy has abandon me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year old lady expecting my first child. Meanwhile the father of the child says he does not want me anymore and is about to marry another woman.
Anytime I approach this man for money, he insults me and threatens to beat me up.
This man has a good job but has not supported me since he got me pregnant. He has made me so sad and ashamed to the extent that I cannot continue with my life.
I need your help badly.
Joyce,
Korle Bu.
Dear Joyce,
I AM so sorry you are going through this. Being abandoned by your baby’s daddy is painful and can leave you betrayed.
This is a difficult situation but there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your child emotionally, legally and financially.
Kindly get your parents involved in this matter and consult the man’s family.
But if your parents will not intervene because they feel ashamed and angry with you, then see another elderly family member who can give you emotional support and counselling.
This person can see the man’s family on your behalf to remind them of his responsibilities to you.
Always remind yourself that his actions are reflection of him not you. Be strong for your unborn child.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
