Obaa Yaa
My baby daddy has abandon me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year old lady expecting my first child. Meanwhile the father of the child says he does not want me anymore and is about to marry another woman.
Anytime I approach this man for money, he insults me and threatens to beat me up.
This man has a good job but has not supported me since he got me pregnant. He has made me so sad and ashamed to the extent that I cannot continue with my life.
I need your help badly.
Joyce,
Korle Bu.
Dear Joyce,
I AM so sorry you are going through this. Being abandoned by your baby’s daddy is painful and can leave you betrayed.
This is a difficult situation but there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your child emotionally, legally and financially.
Kindly get your parents involved in this matter and consult the man’s family.
But if your parents will not intervene because they feel ashamed and angry with you, then see another elderly family member who can give you emotional support and counselling.
This person can see the man’s family on your behalf to remind them of his responsibilities to you.
Always remind yourself that his actions are reflection of him not you. Be strong for your unborn child.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
