Obaa Yaa
Should I build for my mum/family?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Growing up, life has not been easy for my family, especially my mother. Both parents were famers, even when my daddy was alive, it was my mother who made sure we stayed in school.
I nearly gave up on life, but my mother was my pillar and source of inspiration. I nearly drop out of school because of school fees. Anytime I ask my dad for money, he always tells me he doesn’t have.
By the time I completed school and stood on my feet, she has sold all her assets and properties to put me and my siblings through school.
I am now married and doing so well. Daddy is no more. I have told her to relocate to the city so that I can take good care of her, but she has decided to stay in the village.
I am thinking I should invest my resources into building a spacious one bedroom self-contained house for her over there.
I discussed this issue with my wife and she is suggesting we build a family house so that my mother will come and stay in Accra.
Should I build my family house or mother’s house?
Benson, Sunyani.
Dear Benson,
It is very clear you have good intentions. However, prioritise building for your family first. Mummy is old and she needs to be catered for. She can come and stay with your family for some time until she moves to her newly furnished one bedroom.
When she moves in with you, it will lessen your financial burden. Continue to support your mother in the village, give her the best while you can, because she has made you who you are today.
Let your wife be in the known that, your mother will be staying with you. At least she can assist you in taking care of the children to ease some burden.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
