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Obaa Yaa

She changed after admission to Legon

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 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a banker working with one of the prestigious banking sectors in Ghana. In 2020, I met a very pretty young lady who had just completed her secondary education and was preparing to proceed to the Universi­ty of Ghana Legon.

Prior to her entry into Legon, I proposed love to her and she gave in later but on condition that we did not engage in any sexual activity until we are ready to marry.

I fully complied with it and for over two years, we never had sex. In 2023 she finally gained admission into Legon and after three months on campus she started showing signs of disinterest in me, though she has sworn to me that she will never disappoint me in life.

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When I demanded to know where I have wronged her, she could not say anything tangible to me. I have done all things to get her attention back but it seems, she has already made up her mind.

After sometime, I also decided to stay away from her though, I did not intend to call it quits until when she got to the second year when we met again and told her of the pain I had gone through.

She sounded encouraging, so we started through to the final year. My problem is that anytime this lady got out of my life, I find it difficult to meet another partner comparable to her. I still love her, what should I do?

Darko, Mankessim.

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Dear Darko,

When it comes to love people take it on a smooth journey, others are not lucky.

From the look of things, I can tell that your girlfriend is no more inter­ested in the relationship. She might have another suitor at school.

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You made it known to me that you still love her and you want to make her your wife.

In my opinion, if she continues to give you attitude and pretend you don’t exist, kindly walk away for your peace and sanity.

You made a statement that, it is difficult to get a suitor just as your girlfriend. My advice to you is that, don’t rush, relax and give yourself some time to heal. You will defi­nitely find a suitor who will give you peace and love.

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Obaa Yaa

My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.

After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.

He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.

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I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.

There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.

My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.

Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?

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From Frimpongmaa,

Assin Praso.

Dear Frimpongmaa, 

I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.

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Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.

The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.

The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.

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Obaa Yaa

I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.

My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.

Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.

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My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.

I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.

I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.

What should I do?

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Adzo, Ho

Dear Adzo

If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.

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 At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.

I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.

Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.

Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.

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You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.

Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.

If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.

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