Obaa Yaa
She’s too friendly with boys
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 25 and she is 22. We have been lovers for some time now and have agreed to get married if God permits.
We are so much in love to an extent that, we cannot go a day without calling each other or seeing each other.
My problem is that she is too friendly with boys. I have warned her several times but all have fallen on deaf ears. She told me not to think about that because they are her friends and she just entertains them for fun.
I love her and I’m afraid someone may take her out of my hands.
Is it nice for a girl (who already has a lover) to be so friendly with other boys? I am totally confused and don’t know what to do.
Barimah, Swedru.
Dear Barima,
YOU seem to have a problem with insecurity. You stated that she always shows how much she cares about you.
I believe you could complain if that is affecting the attention you crave for.
Is she just friendly or she is actually intimate and makes suggestive body contacts with these male friends?
If your answer is no, then I think you should relax and enjoy your relationship with this girl.
You can also let her know that you can’t stand it when you see her with the male friends and for that matter she should stop.
Trying to stifle her may rather kill the relationship.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
