Obaa Yaa
My lover is against my tribe
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a boy of 25 and civil servant. I am in love with a very beautiful girl who is a student.
I proposed to her and she accepted. We love each other so much and been together for eight years and hope to get married in future.
However, my lover talks against my tribe any time we meet.
She later told me her parents strongly dislike my tribe and warned that none of their children should marry from that tribe.
My girlfriend again told me that I should not be disturbed but if I really love her, she will convince her parents to agree to our marriage.
I am in doubt that this lady can convince her parents to agree to the marriage, because she also doesn’t like my tribe. I want to break up with her before it is too late.
I am Northerner and she is a Fante.
Malik, Bolgantanga.
Dear Malik,
THIS is prevalent but excruciating challenge in many cultures where tribal, ethnic or family loyalty plays a big role in relationship.
I believe you have taken the right decision and the earlier you implement it the better.
Again, communicate openly with your lover and also focus on your love and connection.
A loving partner will be willing to understand, compromise and not reject you because of your tribe.
If she refuses to respect your background it could be a red flag, especially in a long term.
If you do marry and have children in the future, would she and her parents not make the children miserable just because through no choice, they were
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
