Obaa Yaa
My Uncle is proposing marriage to me
I am 20 years of age and my mother’s brother (my uncle) has been proposing marriage to me.
He always tries to touch either my breast or buttocks any time he gets close to me.
Although he already has two wives and is a womaniser, he says he is serious about me.
I am even scared with the way he going about things.
Should I report him to my mother?
Eyram, Volta
Dear Eyram,
THIS is a very serious and concerning situation. Marriage between an uncle and a niece is illegal in most countries due to genetic risk widely considered ethically and morally unacceptable.
Though this sort of relationship was acceptable to some ethnic groups in the past. It is now regarded by most people as incest and frowned upon.
Also very often, when children are born out of marriage of close relative, there is the tendency for them to suffer from intense cases of genetic disorder or diseases within the family.
I would also not advice that you encourage such a relationship since the man is a known womaniser.
He would break your heart and mess you up. Even mature women are unable to handle such trauma; how much more a mere 20 year old girl.
Firmly say no and avoid being alone with him. If you feel pressured or threatened seek help from someone you trust. (Parents, siblings, friends or authorities).
Dear ObaaYaa,
I am 22 and she is 20. We have not grown to a marrying state. My problem is that anytime I see this lady, I feel nervous and try to use a different route.
Both of us are Christians and belong to one church. I have been together with many girls, but this strange thing has not happened to me before.
Meanwhile, I am a student, and it will take some time for me to complete my education and get a job before marriage, so I can take care of my children.
Should I be bold one day to tell her to wait for me till I complete my education and then get a job, or should I stop her from coming to visit me?
—PK, Suhum
Dear PK,
Sometimes, when people are in love, they get excited and nervous when their loved one approaches them. However, this feeling should not be permanent. This nervousness normally gives way to relaxation, comfort, and joy.
If this nervousness should persist, then it means there is a problem. If there is something about her character that makes you uncomfortable, then talk to her about it. If it’s something negative and she has the power to change, let her do so.
At the age of 20, I also think both of you are very young for marriage. Just take the relationship easy—no serious commitments and no sex.
Give priority to a good education and a good job. That is one of the pillars to a happy marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your column. I admire the extent to which you go to help get solutions to some of the problems readers present to you.
I have an interesting concern which I hope you can help address just as you do with relationship matters. This has to do with taxi drivers.
Obaa Yaa, all I want to know and understand is why taxi drivers always want to count their money during rides. I don’t know whether that is to show off to passengers what they have or not.
I believe they can sit comfortably in their cars and count their proceeds without any inconvenience or interference when they end their rides or reload their car. Interestingly, they sometimes do so about two or more times before reaching their respective destinations.
What makes it more fascinating is that I have asked over five taxi drivers why they always want to count their monies when driving. The answers I got amused me. After the laughter, they told me they came to meet the practice.
Obaa Yaa, can you please use your platform to get some answers for me or other passengers that may also have wondered about this practice?
—Sammy Tee, La Wireless
Dear Sammy Tee,
We appreciate your kind effort of reading and enjoying our stories. It’s quite funny and interesting to hear about this fascinating story involving some taxi drivers.
This practice has been ongoing since time immemorial, and I don’t believe it will change anytime soon. I have personally encountered such drama when I gave a taxi driver a huge amount for my change. He quickly brought out his sales and started shouting at me that he didn’t have smaller denominations.
In my opinion, taxi drivers count their monies to keep track of earnings and to give accurate change. Also, some taxi drivers usually deal with different denominations. Counting helps to separate notes and coins for easier transactions with the next group of passengers.
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