Obaa Yaa
She wants to marry an Octogenarian
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am an octogenarian living peacefully in my house in Accra after retiring from the civil service some years back.
I live alone because all my eight children are living abroad and remit me constantly.
A last born of a female classmate of mine called Grace, 36 years, and not married has been paying me frequent visits to my house to assist in washing my dishes.
But one day, she surprised me when she asked me to marry her.
Please what would my daughter say?
Is she interested in an octogenarian like me because my daughter send me lot of dollars every month?
Obaa Yaa, please advise me.
Old Boy, Accra.
Dear Old Boy,
I WOULDN’T know the real motive of the woman asking you to marry her, but it is not uncommon.
It might be that she has a genuine liking or feelings for you because of how you relate with her or how you have been kind to her.
It can also be a result of her ambition to inherit your fortune when you eventually pass away.
Personally, I do not think it is advisable for an octogenarian to marry again. What you need at this age is a good house-keeper to see to your food, clothes, bedding and the cleanliness of your home.
Be careful because she might be a gold digger and not a genuine lover
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
