Obaa Yaa
She hid a secret from me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.
It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.
But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.
I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?
Kersi,
Osu.
Dear Kersi,
Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.
They also get stigmatised by society.
It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.
Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.
I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.
They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.
I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY fiancé is a journalist with one of the reputable media houses in Ghana.
Plans are far advanced for us to tie the knot but my worry is that he’s always busy and comes home late every evening when I am in bed.
By the nature of his work and schedule, as soon as he comes home, he takes his bath and supper. The next thing is to sleep without spending time with me.
He has no holiday. On Sundays, he goes again to work after church service. I am beginning to entertain some fears that things will get worse when we get married.
I am the type who like to be pampered but my fiancé is not pampering me.
Please advise me to make an informed decision before it becomes too late.
Paulina,
Dodowa.
Dear Paulina,
THERE are no specified working hours for journalists. In short, they are always on the move.
That is why it appears they cannot be good husbands.
And if you want a man who will be at home and pamper you, then a journalist might not suit that purpose, unless he is on leave.
However, I wouldn’t discourage you. Journalists are very interesting people who learn a lot and can help you to widen your outlook.
Don’t look at the romantic aspect of it only; consider the future of the relationship, your self-development and the future of your children. I wish you all the best.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a Christian sister who believe in the biblical code of modest dressing as a mark of a true Christian.
My dress is always the long type, covering my knees.
My boss addressed me yesterday that such dressing was not needed in the company, particularly as a Personal Assistant.
He says my dresses should be office mini type to show my legs to attract a lot of customers since we are in the business of selling.
Obaa Yaa, I am confused about my boss’s demand as this will affect my Christian principle of decent and modest Christian dressing.
Please advise me.
Emefa,
Sogakope.
Dear Emefa,
Normally, Personal Assistants are generally expected to be smart in skirt and top of the same material or white top and blue- black skirt.
Unusually long dresses or skirts do not make Personal Assistant look smart, so employers will normally require that very long dresses are not worn by their PAs.
You could get skirts that are long enough to cover your knees so that your thighs are not exposed. You can look decent in that and do your job.
However, if your particular church does not allow the exposure of even your legs, then the only option is to resign and get another job where your kind of dressing will be tolerated.
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