Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t seem to love me
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am a final year student at the Pentecost University where I met a lady and fell in love with her during my internship.
Though I have expressed my feelings to her, she insists we move our relationship at a steady pace.
Honestly, I am not worried about her suggestion for that approach, so far as the relationship is concerned. Why should I pretend to love and be her friend when my feelings for her are more than that?
Meanwhile, there are moments she wants us to go out and have fun, yet when I make advances towards her, she brushes me aside.
What should I do?
Kofi, Accra.
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Dear Kofi,
I don’t believe you have a problem as your letter explains.
There is nothing wrong to fall in love with this lady and tell her about your feelings.
It is interesting to know that this lady has adopted an intelligent approach of building the friendship gradually.
Note that this relationship could progress into marriage if things go on planned. Do not forget that marriage is a life-long journey which demands you to take the right decision at the right time so that you may not regret in future.
I think her decision to adopt a gradual approach to the relationship will prevent the two of you from taking hasty decisions.
Going out for fun forms part of the gradual approach in a relationship.
Allow her to take a decision at the appropriate time as you do well to also control your feelings.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.