Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me

Dear Obaa Yaa

We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.

I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.

My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.

In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.

She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.

Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.

Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.

My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.

The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?

Patience- Accra.

Dear Patience,

I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.

Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.

Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.

You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple.

You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem.

I don’t like his dressing

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.

You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.