Obaa Yaa
Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me
Dear Obaa Yaa
We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.
I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.
My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.
In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.
She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.
Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.
Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.
My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.
The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?
Patience- Accra.
Dear Patience,
I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.
Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.
Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.
You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple.
You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem.
I am in my final year in the university. My elder sister has been very supportive after the death of our parents.
My sister has a boyfriend who visits often. Anytime he comes around, she wonders why I don’t entertain him and why I suddenly find an excuse to leave the room. She takes it as me being cold, even jealous, and it angers her more than I can even imagine.
She has no idea about what is going on behind her back. He has asked me out on several occasions and looks at me in a lustful manner.
But my problem is that I never told my sister the real reason I avoid her boyfriend. I have kept my distance, not out of hate for her or for him, but because I carry a secret that would break her heart.
Princess, Tema.
Dear Princess,
Why are you keeping this away from your sister? As long as you continue to live under the same roof with your sister, tell her about her boyfriend’s behaviour.
Have you by any chance confided in any relative? I’ll advise you to open up to someone, at least to take the weight off your shoulder.
Act fast before the situation exacerbates.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 23 years who lives in a compound house around Kasoa in the Central Region. I live with my auntie.
We are not always at home because she spends most of the time at the market due to her business, and I am mostly on campus.
One sunny afternoon, I overheard some tenants talking about another who takes her bath in a basin and throws the water away. We have two big bathrooms, but just because she doesn’t want to scrub, she has refused to bathe there.
Although she is usually not around due to her work as a nurse, it doesn’t warrant her to do as she pleases. We have spoken to the landlord about it, but she seems unconcerned. What should I do?
Beatrice, Accra
Dear Beatrice,
I am surprised that your landlord seems unperturbed.
Have you considered having a conversation with the tenant to find out why she ignores the chores? She does not seem bothered about the kind of perception the other tenants have about her.
Why would a young lady who is a nurse and an advocate for healthy living be this lazy and unconcerned about her surroundings?
No excuse should be tolerated just because she’s a nurse and mostly not around.
