Obaa Yaa
Painful separation
Dear ObaaYaa,
I met this beautiful lady at a party which was organised by a relative of mine and we fell in love.
We got well with each other and our love developed. All this while, she enquired from me if I was married or had a child and told her that her concerns were correct.
She became happy as a result of my assurance and vowed that she would not allow any lady to snatch me from her. My lady promised to give me the happiness I needed and would work hard to give me every support in our marriage.
Since we were always together in the full glare of others, people got to know of our intention to marry.
A friend who knows me has advised that i should not be in haste to marry her but be careful and study her character because she is quarrelsome and could pose problems for me when i marry her.
Though i have considered this man intruding into my love affairs, i have reluctantly decided to listen to his advice.
So I apologised to my lady that my office could not raise the funds i requested for to help me organise the wedding hence the need to postpone it until my finances had improved to which she did not complain.
Staying together for two months has brought a lot of dust from under the carpet and you will not believe that the problems are enormous. Sometimes, i want to leave the house in order to avoid quarrels and maintain my peace.
Having known the sort of person she is, it was painful for me to leave her though the love is still there.
Do you consider my decision as good?
Frank, Accra.
Dear Frank,
You must consider yourself very fortunate to get someone to advice you otherwise you would have been shocked with her true character after marriage. You must count yourself very lucky because others could not get people to advise them on the right decision to take.
Having described how lovely, resourceful and hardworking she is, it must be painful to separate on this note.
Though painful, your decision to separate is good because you will have your peace of mind.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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