Obaa Yaa
New girlfriend attracts me more
Dear ObaaYaa,
We were both students in the university and though we read different courses, with time, we later became very close to each other.
The love we developed for each other grew to a stage where we could not resist our inner feelings and she became pregnant. Though embarrassed initially, I gathered courage and pleaded with her to abort the pregnancy since we were in the final year getting ready for the final examination and could not cater for a baby.
Despite her sound religious background, she did not object to my proposal and we aborted the pregnancy, though we were not happy.
Luckily, we completed successfully and l was able to secure a job after the mandatory National Service. She is yet to be employed and we have maintained the friendship till now.
Unfortunately, l am torn between her and another lady l came across in my office whose character has appealed to me and l would like to marry her instead of my former girlfriend.
What do you have to say about my decision?
Paul, Accra.
Dear Paul,
You have been in a relationship with this lady from the time you were in the university and have admitted that you went through interesting moments and took unfavourable decisions. The decision, I believe was to safeguard your interest and protect your future.
Having come this far, it will be inappropriate for you to snub this lady and marry a- new-found lover.
Abortion has rendered some women barren for life and they will continue to blame themselves for their inability to reject the decision to abort.
Should this first lady become barren, you will not know peace in your marriage and she will not also be happy.
But if you marry her, both of you can device an alternative means of solving the problem.
Since two persons cannot be the same, try to tolerate your first lover and marry her.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
