Obaa Yaa
My wife is untidy
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My wife is the only woman I have lived with that is making things difficult for me.
Growing up, I have lived with my mother, aunties and sisters and they were never untidy when it comes to keeping the home.
We currently have two children, who are four and two years old. The children keep themselves busy without much trouble yet my wife cannot keep our house neat.
When I travel for days, I come home to meet dishes left in the sink and an untidy environment.
She would also leave dirty diapers in the hall or packed somewhere in the kitchen.
Clothes she had worn have taken over the chairs and even the bed. You will see wigs lying on the center table and brassier hanging on the sofa.
Anytime I raise concerns about her attitude, she tells me she would put a stop to it.
Every weekend turns into a marathon of cleaning, washing and scrubbing because my wife will not do it.
After six years of marriage I am exhausted and honestly part of me feels like walking away or renting a new place for myself .
Amponsah, Madina
Dear Amponsah,
IT is rather unfortunate things are happening this way in your home. In my opinion, you can assist your wife with the cleaning of the home after you have closed from work.
If that is impossible, you can employ a house or a nanny to assist your wife in cleaning.
Handling children can be stressful especially when they are not teenagers.
It will surprise you, she might be going through something and finding it difficult to address it.
Find time and communicate with her on how you want things to be done. You can also help by assisting her with some of the house chores.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are a family of three—my dad, mom, and myself, being the only daughter of my parents.
My dad provided everything we needed; he was a very fun-loving man and the backbone of our family. He was always ready to give us jokes and anecdotes before going to bed, making our lives full of laughter and love.
One morning, I woke up to an eerie silence. I called out for my dad, but there was no response. We were all shocked, confused, and grief-stricken because daddy was our backbone—our emotional and financial support, the one who made us smile no matter the storms we were facing. We kept asking, what did he do wrong?
Lady Tina, Akosombo
Advice
Dear Tina,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one, especially in a tragic and unexpected manner, is incredibly painful.
Here are some steps you can take to cope and move forward:
- Seek justice and support: If your dad’s death involved wrongdoing, cooperate fully with the authorities as they work to identify the perpetrator.
- Lean on your support network: Reach out to trusted family friends, relatives, or a therapist for emotional support during this difficult time.
- Care for yourselves: It is very important to take care of both your mom’s and your physical and emotional well-being. Grieving is a process, and everyone copes differently.
- Be gentle with yourself: Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Do not hesitate to seek help whenever needed.
Remember, Tina, it’s okay to lean on others and take things one day at a time.
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Dear Counselor,
I have decided to put this into writing to seek your advice and counsel. I am a 21-year-old girl who completed Senior High School (SHS) three years ago and am currently at home.
During my Basic School and SHS days, I had two mutual friends I always moved along with. We stayed in the same apartment, went to the same schools from basic level to senior high school. We literally did everything together, and our friendship was so strong that everyone thought we were sisters.
We all gained admission into the University, but I could not join them because things were bad financially for my parents. They could not afford my fees to register my courses, so I had no other option than to stay home.
As a result of my situation, my friends no longer relate to me as they did earlier. They take decisions without me, make me feel inferior, and leave me out. Their behaviour, gestures, and negative body language say it all. I was completely broken when they told me I no longer fit into their circle of friendship.
Jessica, Lashibi
Advice
Dear Jessica,
It is really sad that your friends are behaving this way toward you. Here are some steps you can consider:
- Seek clarification: Approach them calmly and ask why they have been acting this way. You cannot live by assumptions alone.
- Value yourself: Even though some friendships do not last forever, being emotionally drained is not the best option. Your 10 years of memories are precious, but you also deserve respect.
- Move on if needed: If your friends continue to make you feel inferior, take a bold step and move forward without them. True friends respect and uplift each other.
- Focus on your future:
- Plan your life and look for menial jobs to cover expenses.
- Save money to further your education.
- Try online courses to prepare ahead of time.
- Apply for scholarship programs to support your studies.
Remember, Jessica, your worth is not determined by others’ approval. Surround yourself with people who respect, encourage, and celebrate your growth.
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