My mum wants me to end my relationship

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.

I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.

When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.

Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.

I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.

The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.

My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?

Efe, Mallam.

*****

Dear Isaac,

Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.

You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.

This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.

Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.

My wife wants what I can’t afford

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My wife told me to buy her a brand new car as a birthday present. I have been saving towards this.

My intention was to get her a Nissan second hand car. Three days to her birthday, she told me she wanted a Range Rover because that is what her friends have been using.

I cannot afford this and even if I can do it, I may have to save additional money. She would not understand this.

She now calls me ‘irresponsible’ and all sort of names. I am so embarrassed by this behaviour.

Kwesi, Racecourse

Dear Kwesi,

Your wife isn’t treating you fairly if this is the story. If on the other hand she has a reason to believe you misuse your money, then she may have a point.

For me, your wife shouldn’t use what her friends are doing as a marker for you. After all you were willing to buy her a car of your choice but she rejected.

We are not in normal times so advise your wife to appreciate everything you do for her.

Advise her to stay away from those friends I believe may be influencing her.

Anyway, why don’t you sit down and talk amicably about this? If it’s Range Rover she wants, tell her she will get it but not now.

I think it makes sense for her to wait, unless she doesn’t want her preferred car.

She’s too friendly with boys

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 25 and she is 22. We have been lovers for some time now and have agreed to get married if God permits.

We are so much in love to an extent that, we cannot go a day without calling each other or seeing each other.

My problem is that she is too friendly with boys. I have warned her several times but all have fallen on deaf ears. She told me not to think about that because they are her friends and she just entertains them for fun.

I love her and I’m afraid someone may take her out of my hands.

Is it nice for a girl (who already has a lover) to be so friendly with other boys? I am totally confused and don’t know what to do.

Barimah, Swedru.

Dear Barima,

YOU seem to have a problem with insecurity. You stated that she always shows how much she cares about you.

I believe you could complain if that is affecting the attention you crave for.

Is she just friendly or she is actually intimate and makes suggestive body contacts with these male friends?

If your answer is no, then I think you should relax and enjoy your relationship with this girl.

You can also let her know that you can’t stand it when you see her with the male friends and for that matter she should stop.

Trying to stifle her may rather kill the relationship.