Her attitude has changed

Dear Obaa Yaa,

There is something happening that could ruin the relationship with my girlfriend if it is not checked.

My girlfriend has a beautiful chocolate complexion which I am proud of.

In recent times, she has started bleaching in a manner I find annoying.

When I asked her why she is bleaching, she was unable to give me any tangible reason except to say that she wants the skin to be smooth.

I have, however, learnt from a friend of her’s that she admires another friend who has bleached her skin.

Because of that, I have warned her about the dangers and ramifications involved in bleaching but she has turned a blind eye.

One annoying thing is that after spending all her money on bleaching soaps and creams, she persistently worries me for money as if I am indebted to her.

I am beginning to think that she is bleaching to attract other men just as the friend is doing.

I am thinking of breaking up with her because she is not ready to listen to me.

Asare, Accra.

Dear Asare,

You don’t need to break up with her because she is bleaching. Try and coax this girl to give up this bad habit and if possible get her a pastor and parents to talk to her.

If this should fail, give her an ultimatum to give up this habit or risk losing the relationship.

Bleaching has side effects and can cause skin cancer.

You can also advise her to do the skin therapy with a good body cream.

My wife wants what I can’t afford

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My wife told me to buy her a brand new car as a birthday present. I have been saving towards this.

My intention was to get her a Nissan second hand car. Three days to her birthday, she told me she wanted a Range Rover because that is what her friends have been using.

I cannot afford this and even if I can do it, I may have to save additional money. She would not understand this.

She now calls me ‘irresponsible’ and all sort of names. I am so embarrassed by this behaviour.

Kwesi, Racecourse

Dear Kwesi,

Your wife isn’t treating you fairly if this is the story. If on the other hand she has a reason to believe you misuse your money, then she may have a point.

For me, your wife shouldn’t use what her friends are doing as a marker for you. After all you were willing to buy her a car of your choice but she rejected.

We are not in normal times so advise your wife to appreciate everything you do for her.

Advise her to stay away from those friends I believe may be influencing her.

Anyway, why don’t you sit down and talk amicably about this? If it’s Range Rover she wants, tell her she will get it but not now.

I think it makes sense for her to wait, unless she doesn’t want her preferred car.

She’s too friendly with boys

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 25 and she is 22. We have been lovers for some time now and have agreed to get married if God permits.

We are so much in love to an extent that, we cannot go a day without calling each other or seeing each other.

My problem is that she is too friendly with boys. I have warned her several times but all have fallen on deaf ears. She told me not to think about that because they are her friends and she just entertains them for fun.

I love her and I’m afraid someone may take her out of my hands.

Is it nice for a girl (who already has a lover) to be so friendly with other boys? I am totally confused and don’t know what to do.

Barimah, Swedru.

Dear Barima,

YOU seem to have a problem with insecurity. You stated that she always shows how much she cares about you.

I believe you could complain if that is affecting the attention you crave for.

Is she just friendly or she is actually intimate and makes suggestive body contacts with these male friends?

If your answer is no, then I think you should relax and enjoy your relationship with this girl.

You can also let her know that you can’t stand it when you see her with the male friends and for that matter she should stop.

Trying to stifle her may rather kill the relationship.