Obaa Yaa
Her attitude has changed
Dear Obaa Yaa,
There is something happening that could ruin the relationship with my girlfriend if it is not checked.
My girlfriend has a beautiful chocolate complexion which I am proud of.
In recent times, she has started bleaching in a manner I find annoying.
When I asked her why she is bleaching, she was unable to give me any tangible reason except to say that she wants the skin to be smooth.
I have, however, learnt from a friend of her’s that she admires another friend who has bleached her skin.
Because of that, I have warned her about the dangers and ramifications involved in bleaching but she has turned a blind eye.
One annoying thing is that after spending all her money on bleaching soaps and creams, she persistently worries me for money as if I am indebted to her.
I am beginning to think that she is bleaching to attract other men just as the friend is doing.
I am thinking of breaking up with her because she is not ready to listen to me.
Asare, Accra.
Dear Asare,
You don’t need to break up with her because she is bleaching. Try and coax this girl to give up this bad habit and if possible get her a pastor and parents to talk to her.
If this should fail, give her an ultimatum to give up this habit or risk losing the relationship.
Bleaching has side effects and can cause skin cancer.
You can also advise her to do the skin therapy with a good body cream.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
