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Obaa Yaa

 My mother is against my family

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM a 30-year-old lady, married to a very humble, God fearing and hardworking man.

During our dating days, my husband was in the good books of my mother. In fact, he was her ‘sweet heart’. They could sit down and chat for long hours.

He was always showering her with money, gifts and goodies.

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However, my husband lost his job a few months after marriage and I am the one assisting our home financially.

My mother’s attitude has changed because my husband doesn’t shower her with gifts any longer.

I personally told her we were struggling financially and we needed her support as well.

She came for a visit last week and started complaining bitterly about how old I have become because I am in a bad marriage.

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I quickly threw her bags out and told her not to come to my house again.

Did I do the right thing by sacking her?

Oye, Kwabenya.

Dear Oye,

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YOUR case is very dicey and since your mother is in­volved, I want to be very careful with my choice of words.

I understand what you are going through at the moment but kindly control your emotions when you are angry.

Throwing her out of the house was a big no and I urge you to apologize to her.

You can report her to your father to speak to her.

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Try as much as possible to support your home with the little you have until your husband bounces back.

Continue to pray for him and encourage him to continue to apply for jobs.

I strongly believe with God all things are possible.

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Obaa Yaa

He introduced me wrongly

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.

He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.

When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.

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He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.

I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.

Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?

Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.

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Dear Araba,

FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.

Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.

So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.

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However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.

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Obaa Yaa

My wife wants 2 more children

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.

Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.

Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.

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As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.

I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.

My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.

Please advise me.

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Amevi, Ho.


Dear Amevi,

THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.

There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.

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You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.

If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.

If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.

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