Obaa Yaa
My lover is against my tribe
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a boy of 25 and civil servant. I am in love with a very beautiful girl who is a student.
I proposed to her and she accepted. We love each other so much and been together for eight years and hope to get married in future.
However, my lover talks against my tribe any time we meet.
She later told me her parents strongly dislike my tribe and warned that none of their children should marry from that tribe.
My girlfriend again told me that I should not be disturbed but if I really love her, she will convince her parents to agree to our marriage.
I am in doubt that this lady can convince her parents to agree to the marriage, because she also doesn’t like my tribe. I want to break up with her before it is too late.
I am Northerner and she is a Fante.
Malik, Bolgantanga.
Dear Malik,
THIS is prevalent but excruciating challenge in many cultures where tribal, ethnic or family loyalty plays a big role in relationship.
I believe you have taken the right decision and the earlier you implement it the better.
Again, communicate openly with your lover and also focus on your love and connection.
A loving partner will be willing to understand, compromise and not reject you because of your tribe.
If she refuses to respect your background it could be a red flag, especially in a long term.
If you do marry and have children in the future, would she and her parents not make the children miserable just because through no choice, they were
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.
I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.
Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.
Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.
—Esinam, Legon
Dear Esinam,
When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.
Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?
You might also reflect on:
- Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
- Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
- Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
- Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?
Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.
Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.
It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.
The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.
This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.
This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.
Chelsea, Accra.
Dear Chelsea,
Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.
Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.
Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.
Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.
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https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
